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Coping with addicted, homeless adult daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Dad34" data-source="post: 765845" data-attributes="member: 32757"><p>Hi Copa, Nomad, and Beta. Thank you so much for your kind responses, wise insights, and prayers for peace and comfort. As strange as it may seem, I hadn't considered that I was self-flagellating or doing penance, which I don't believe is productive in this instance (if ever). Rather, I need to accept God's grace and also forgive myself for any mistakes I made along the way. I did the best I could as a working, single dad under very trying conditions during her rebelliousness, which started at a young age, and what more can anyone do? Thank you for jolting me out of that mindset.</p><p></p><p>Wouldn't you know that after all of my pining over being estranged from my daughter, today I received a call from an "unknown" number. I never answer calls from numbers I don't recognize, but I wondered if that call was from her because no number was listed. Afterwards a message was left and it was from a jail (the message wasn't from her, but an automated message from the jail). I went to their website and there was my daughter's mugshot, arrested today for DUI, obstructing a peace officer, and refusing to submit to pretest. Instantly my tension skyrocketed and all the memories of receiving calls from her when she was in crisis flooded my mind, and suddenly I trembled at the thought of talking to her. What a strange tension...wanting to talk to her, not wanting to talk to her. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face :thinking:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f914.png" data-shortname=":thinking:" /></p><p></p><p>I was reading from a post from ANewLife4Me and New Leaf, where they decided to refuse calls from jail from their adult addicted children, in order to preserve their own health and welfare, and that is how I feel. My daughter is a master at fast-talking manipulation and often sets me on my heals, and I just am not ready for it. I hope they keep her in jail and maybe this will finally be an opportunity for her to turn around. At least I know she is alive. Her mugshot was heartbreaking, she looks so rough. I am praying for her though, maybe this is what she needs.</p><p></p><p>Again, thank you for sharing your stories and your wisdom that you have gained from your experiences. It reminds me I'm not alone in this nightmare. You all are obviously loving parents who struggle with the same emotions that I do, and I thank God you are here, and am grateful for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dad34, post: 765845, member: 32757"] Hi Copa, Nomad, and Beta. Thank you so much for your kind responses, wise insights, and prayers for peace and comfort. As strange as it may seem, I hadn't considered that I was self-flagellating or doing penance, which I don't believe is productive in this instance (if ever). Rather, I need to accept God's grace and also forgive myself for any mistakes I made along the way. I did the best I could as a working, single dad under very trying conditions during her rebelliousness, which started at a young age, and what more can anyone do? Thank you for jolting me out of that mindset. Wouldn't you know that after all of my pining over being estranged from my daughter, today I received a call from an "unknown" number. I never answer calls from numbers I don't recognize, but I wondered if that call was from her because no number was listed. Afterwards a message was left and it was from a jail (the message wasn't from her, but an automated message from the jail). I went to their website and there was my daughter's mugshot, arrested today for DUI, obstructing a peace officer, and refusing to submit to pretest. Instantly my tension skyrocketed and all the memories of receiving calls from her when she was in crisis flooded my mind, and suddenly I trembled at the thought of talking to her. What a strange tension...wanting to talk to her, not wanting to talk to her. 🤔 I was reading from a post from ANewLife4Me and New Leaf, where they decided to refuse calls from jail from their adult addicted children, in order to preserve their own health and welfare, and that is how I feel. My daughter is a master at fast-talking manipulation and often sets me on my heals, and I just am not ready for it. I hope they keep her in jail and maybe this will finally be an opportunity for her to turn around. At least I know she is alive. Her mugshot was heartbreaking, she looks so rough. I am praying for her though, maybe this is what she needs. Again, thank you for sharing your stories and your wisdom that you have gained from your experiences. It reminds me I'm not alone in this nightmare. You all are obviously loving parents who struggle with the same emotions that I do, and I thank God you are here, and am grateful for you. [/QUOTE]
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