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Coping with Gossip in the Family
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 628292" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>My family thrives on gossiping about everyone and my mother is right in the middle. A few have medical drama and my mother is especially close to them. They always tell her every little bit of dirt in their families, complain about their kids and husbands to her. And the biggie, they complain and fight with their in-laws which my mother loves, I guess it makes her feel special when they stop talking to them.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child was posting on FB, one nephew and he had a verbal fight while difficult child was obviously high and my sister had to call me to whine that (what my difficult child had posted )'it hurt her son so much he was almost crying'. I told her I did not post it and they are both adults, let them figure it out. THEY ARE BOTH 36yo and the nephew still lives at home and works 20 hours a week!!! My difficult child should never have posted the crap on FB, but as I said, I didn't have anything to do with it.</p><p></p><p>Another time difficult child's nasty girlfriend posted a confession about drugs and prostitutes on FB pretending to be him.</p><p></p><p>My one sister that is always saying I need to do more 'because your the mama and he is your son', had a big family gossip session with her son's difficult child wife and sex for drugs. She said the reason her son failed a drug test for a job was because wifie had put cocaine in her 'hoo-hoo' and they had sex and it transferred to him. I hate to even tell you that this sister is a nurse lol. She is very much in denial about her kids! </p><p></p><p>My mother and some (most) of my sisters love the drama and gossip and I detest it, so as I get older we have grown apart. I am always the last to know anything and many times I am not including, unless it involves helping to pay for something and then I am always included!</p><p></p><p>I live 3 miles from my mother and she has been in my home about 3 times in 7 years and she would never call me, I call her. I visited to give her a birthday gift and it's the same 'ole same 'ole. All she talks about is her many health problems ) I hope I am in as good of shape as she is when I'm her age lol) and my stepdads racist comments. Both get to me and I really find it hard to visit them. I rarely go out to eat with them 'cause it's the same restaurant 'cause 'they don't eat that kind of food'. </p><p></p><p>I used to feel guilty about my huge differences with my family and I'm absolutely over that! When they all want to gossip about my difficult child I only say, 'he is an adult and it's his life path to follow'.</p><p></p><p>I have grown very spiritual over the years and some family members are religious zealots where everything is a sin. Their narrow mindedness makes me feel as I have to guard everything I say.</p><p></p><p>I actually have more friends as I have gotten older, but I do not discuss difficult child or family problems. It really makes it so much more relaxing to forget about life problems and have a relaxing evening!!!</p><p></p><p>As I have learned to detach from difficult child and stop enabling, I also learned the same with my family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 628292, member: 13558"] My family thrives on gossiping about everyone and my mother is right in the middle. A few have medical drama and my mother is especially close to them. They always tell her every little bit of dirt in their families, complain about their kids and husbands to her. And the biggie, they complain and fight with their in-laws which my mother loves, I guess it makes her feel special when they stop talking to them. My difficult child was posting on FB, one nephew and he had a verbal fight while difficult child was obviously high and my sister had to call me to whine that (what my difficult child had posted )'it hurt her son so much he was almost crying'. I told her I did not post it and they are both adults, let them figure it out. THEY ARE BOTH 36yo and the nephew still lives at home and works 20 hours a week!!! My difficult child should never have posted the crap on FB, but as I said, I didn't have anything to do with it. Another time difficult child's nasty girlfriend posted a confession about drugs and prostitutes on FB pretending to be him. My one sister that is always saying I need to do more 'because your the mama and he is your son', had a big family gossip session with her son's difficult child wife and sex for drugs. She said the reason her son failed a drug test for a job was because wifie had put cocaine in her 'hoo-hoo' and they had sex and it transferred to him. I hate to even tell you that this sister is a nurse lol. She is very much in denial about her kids! My mother and some (most) of my sisters love the drama and gossip and I detest it, so as I get older we have grown apart. I am always the last to know anything and many times I am not including, unless it involves helping to pay for something and then I am always included! I live 3 miles from my mother and she has been in my home about 3 times in 7 years and she would never call me, I call her. I visited to give her a birthday gift and it's the same 'ole same 'ole. All she talks about is her many health problems ) I hope I am in as good of shape as she is when I'm her age lol) and my stepdads racist comments. Both get to me and I really find it hard to visit them. I rarely go out to eat with them 'cause it's the same restaurant 'cause 'they don't eat that kind of food'. I used to feel guilty about my huge differences with my family and I'm absolutely over that! When they all want to gossip about my difficult child I only say, 'he is an adult and it's his life path to follow'. I have grown very spiritual over the years and some family members are religious zealots where everything is a sin. Their narrow mindedness makes me feel as I have to guard everything I say. I actually have more friends as I have gotten older, but I do not discuss difficult child or family problems. It really makes it so much more relaxing to forget about life problems and have a relaxing evening!!! As I have learned to detach from difficult child and stop enabling, I also learned the same with my family. [/QUOTE]
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