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Coping with Oppositional Defiance
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<blockquote data-quote="IrishJames" data-source="post: 172637" data-attributes="member: 5550"><p>Kate, I am a newbie to this forum and having read the advice / information you provided I must say I found it enlightening to say the least. Our son (14) was diagnosed as suffering from ODD in late 2007 and has been receiving Psychological therapy since last January (2008). Last weekend he went missing after school and would not answer his phone or reply to text messages. As you can imagine we were worried and fearful rolled into every imaginable emotion one could experience throughout the weekend not knowing where he was or being assured at least that he was safe. He returned home on Sunday at lunchtime. On the day following (Monday) we were called to his school where he was placed on final warning status for skipping classes and for being a member of a fraternity. Following our meeting in the school we went for his therapy session, and, following the session we had a briefing and chat with his therapist who in a nutshell told us that our sons going away for overnights is acceptable and in fact is a 'need' for 14 year old children (note - we are not referring to organized summer camps or pre-organized overnights with people whom we know). I said I believed (to the therapist) that I believe he was referring to a 'want' rather than a 'need' but the therapist disagreed with my opinion. To be honest, my wife and myself - already battle weary following the weekend disappearance and being summoned to our sons school - were devastated by the attitude of the Psychologist and are wondering what we can do now, in particular, living in the Philippines there is always a danger to foreigners and our son is now doubly exposed to such dangers. We cannot accept that he will stay away for overnights without our prior permission and without us having knowledge of where he is going to be and the type of people who he is going to be with. As his Psychologist is a junior (perhaps recently graduated) we wondered should we write to the lead Psychologist regarding our concerns about his 'therapist' but worry that in doing so could we be making an already difficult situation worse, any tips from you veteran parents out there who have had any similar therapy experiences will be most gratefully received. Many thanks in advance - and we are delighted to discover this forum.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="IrishJames, post: 172637, member: 5550"] Kate, I am a newbie to this forum and having read the advice / information you provided I must say I found it enlightening to say the least. Our son (14) was diagnosed as suffering from ODD in late 2007 and has been receiving Psychological therapy since last January (2008). Last weekend he went missing after school and would not answer his phone or reply to text messages. As you can imagine we were worried and fearful rolled into every imaginable emotion one could experience throughout the weekend not knowing where he was or being assured at least that he was safe. He returned home on Sunday at lunchtime. On the day following (Monday) we were called to his school where he was placed on final warning status for skipping classes and for being a member of a fraternity. Following our meeting in the school we went for his therapy session, and, following the session we had a briefing and chat with his therapist who in a nutshell told us that our sons going away for overnights is acceptable and in fact is a 'need' for 14 year old children (note - we are not referring to organized summer camps or pre-organized overnights with people whom we know). I said I believed (to the therapist) that I believe he was referring to a 'want' rather than a 'need' but the therapist disagreed with my opinion. To be honest, my wife and myself - already battle weary following the weekend disappearance and being summoned to our sons school - were devastated by the attitude of the Psychologist and are wondering what we can do now, in particular, living in the Philippines there is always a danger to foreigners and our son is now doubly exposed to such dangers. We cannot accept that he will stay away for overnights without our prior permission and without us having knowledge of where he is going to be and the type of people who he is going to be with. As his Psychologist is a junior (perhaps recently graduated) we wondered should we write to the lead Psychologist regarding our concerns about his 'therapist' but worry that in doing so could we be making an already difficult situation worse, any tips from you veteran parents out there who have had any similar therapy experiences will be most gratefully received. Many thanks in advance - and we are delighted to discover this forum. [/QUOTE]
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