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Cops called, wife gone
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 355630" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>You are 100% correct on that. It should not be a war - but that is why they are routinely called "custody <em>battles</em>"...</p><p> </p><p>OK, in my humble opinion - if she's got a criminal lawyer, <em>not</em> a domestic relations lawyer, that's not going to help her.</p><p> </p><p>You have the right to make her leave the home if she has been abusive to you or the kids. Regardless of what your lawyer says. Honestly? Your letting her stay says to the court that you don't mind. Maybe you're not really worried about her behavior. You're just being spiteful, trying to get custody. I know that this is not the case, but we had a weird judge, who kept making excuses for BM's behavior and actually threw husband in jail for 3 days for visitation issues - she would keep the kids from him for <em>months</em> and it was okay because he was behind on support; we kept the kids away for one entire visit because ONE of them refused to visit and the other was afraid to go, so husband went to jail. Uh. Now, keep in mind that when the order came out, it said that he was sentenced to an additional 60 days suspended <em>because a child visited his mother on Mother's Day</em>. Yes, that's how it read.</p><p> </p><p>Many judges - male and female - will side with the mother no matter what, because it's a stereotype that fathers don't care well for their children. I know two fathers - one has full custody of 2 kids, the other has full custody of one and shared non-residential of three... BOTH are awesome fathers. Honestly both beat the snot out of the mothers in childcare. (The one with full custody of 2 - my husband - had to fight for YEARS to get his kids, and she's still playing games.)</p><p></p><p>But the fact remains that you have to look at your actions and non-actions through the eyes of a very possibly pre-prejudiced judge. Don't let anything slide. Anything. Document, document, document.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 355630, member: 6705"] You are 100% correct on that. It should not be a war - but that is why they are routinely called "custody [I]battles[/I]"... OK, in my humble opinion - if she's got a criminal lawyer, [I]not[/I] a domestic relations lawyer, that's not going to help her. You have the right to make her leave the home if she has been abusive to you or the kids. Regardless of what your lawyer says. Honestly? Your letting her stay says to the court that you don't mind. Maybe you're not really worried about her behavior. You're just being spiteful, trying to get custody. I know that this is not the case, but we had a weird judge, who kept making excuses for BM's behavior and actually threw husband in jail for 3 days for visitation issues - she would keep the kids from him for [I]months[/I] and it was okay because he was behind on support; we kept the kids away for one entire visit because ONE of them refused to visit and the other was afraid to go, so husband went to jail. Uh. Now, keep in mind that when the order came out, it said that he was sentenced to an additional 60 days suspended [I]because a child visited his mother on Mother's Day[/I]. Yes, that's how it read. Many judges - male and female - will side with the mother no matter what, because it's a stereotype that fathers don't care well for their children. I know two fathers - one has full custody of 2 kids, the other has full custody of one and shared non-residential of three... BOTH are awesome fathers. Honestly both beat the snot out of the mothers in childcare. (The one with full custody of 2 - my husband - had to fight for YEARS to get his kids, and she's still playing games.) But the fact remains that you have to look at your actions and non-actions through the eyes of a very possibly pre-prejudiced judge. Don't let anything slide. Anything. Document, document, document. [/QUOTE]
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