Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Court case is over and Bart isnt happy
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 741741" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thank you. Yes.</p><p></p><p>This is not a mediator. This is a Parental Coordinator and they are ex Judges and attornies who have LEGAL POWER to make decisions between the two since they can never come to a concensus. So this is much more serious. A mediator is NOT legally binding. This is like still being in court. </p><p></p><p>I have gently told son he now must find a way to deal with the fact that he is under a legal eye even though the case is over. As before I suggested therapy to help him cope, a divorce support group to make friends who are in the same situations, going back to his old fanatical love of sports (he is no longer interested), and trying to find new interests.</p><p></p><p>When I put forth ideas, he calls them dumb and hangs up. I know he will and am so used to this that it causes me no distress or pain at all. I just go on with what needs to be done next. Then when he ine inevitably calls again (soon), he doesnt apoligize or address the rudeness. Normally this just flies over my head too. Today he called me three times about the case. Thats too much, so it bugged me. Tomorrow I am going to put my phone on vibrate. In general my other kids text me. Hubby too. My friends sometimes call but I can see who is calling on my screen. I dont have to answer.</p><p></p><p>Three days off. Why dont I cut him off?</p><p></p><p>I love him dearly. He IS my son.</p><p></p><p>My mother cut me off and I was a good person. I did have a mild form of bipolar and very poor social skills but she was very much the same and probably was borderline. Because I know how it feels to be rejected by your mother, I just can not cut off my son as long as he loves and needs me and he does. He has said things that make me not feel safe alone with him but he is far away and I will never be alone with him. So talking to him feels like the right thing to do....but taking breaks sounds ok too. And not pushing my other family to engage with him also seems right.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 741741, member: 1550"] Thank you. Yes. This is not a mediator. This is a Parental Coordinator and they are ex Judges and attornies who have LEGAL POWER to make decisions between the two since they can never come to a concensus. So this is much more serious. A mediator is NOT legally binding. This is like still being in court. I have gently told son he now must find a way to deal with the fact that he is under a legal eye even though the case is over. As before I suggested therapy to help him cope, a divorce support group to make friends who are in the same situations, going back to his old fanatical love of sports (he is no longer interested), and trying to find new interests. When I put forth ideas, he calls them dumb and hangs up. I know he will and am so used to this that it causes me no distress or pain at all. I just go on with what needs to be done next. Then when he ine inevitably calls again (soon), he doesnt apoligize or address the rudeness. Normally this just flies over my head too. Today he called me three times about the case. Thats too much, so it bugged me. Tomorrow I am going to put my phone on vibrate. In general my other kids text me. Hubby too. My friends sometimes call but I can see who is calling on my screen. I dont have to answer. Three days off. Why dont I cut him off? I love him dearly. He IS my son. My mother cut me off and I was a good person. I did have a mild form of bipolar and very poor social skills but she was very much the same and probably was borderline. Because I know how it feels to be rejected by your mother, I just can not cut off my son as long as he loves and needs me and he does. He has said things that make me not feel safe alone with him but he is far away and I will never be alone with him. So talking to him feels like the right thing to do....but taking breaks sounds ok too. And not pushing my other family to engage with him also seems right. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Court case is over and Bart isnt happy
Top