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Court case is over and Bart isnt happy
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 741773" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The thing is this: Bart sought out this ex or at least, was receptive to her. What this means is that he is comfortable being in relationship with somebody who is impossible and dangerous and resistant, however noxious this relationship is. It means he can constantly blame something external to himself and not have to feel his own feelings.</p><p></p><p>Now there is another way to look at this: that all of us can get addicted to this kind of toxic relationship that triggers in us a reflexive, defensive and stereotypical way of being rather than living from our center which is loving and embracing and reciprocal.</p><p></p><p>Bart keeps trying to contain his mother who keeps relating to him from her maternal love and tries to get her to act towards him in a way that justifies more of the same controlling behavior that he is comfortable with. Which is to say he keeps wanting to turn SWOT into somebody he can blame and defend against. And she just as surely keeps loving him. This is why it is so hard. I think Bart is trying to heal through SWOT, but part of his way to heal is to keep trying the same old defenses. They call this either working through or repetition compulsion I think.</p><p></p><p>So, what I am coming to accept what Elsi is writing. That all of us are triggered by our circumstances. We may have sought out a relationship to love and in the process we ended up somewhere where the worst of us came up...and we had to work that through until we got in touch again with that in us that is true and strong. </p><p></p><p>I guess I believe that all of us are the same in this, with that potential to reconnect with ourselves and others. Whether or not we do it in this lifespan, is another thing.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for the opportunity to think this through.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 741773, member: 18958"] The thing is this: Bart sought out this ex or at least, was receptive to her. What this means is that he is comfortable being in relationship with somebody who is impossible and dangerous and resistant, however noxious this relationship is. It means he can constantly blame something external to himself and not have to feel his own feelings. Now there is another way to look at this: that all of us can get addicted to this kind of toxic relationship that triggers in us a reflexive, defensive and stereotypical way of being rather than living from our center which is loving and embracing and reciprocal. Bart keeps trying to contain his mother who keeps relating to him from her maternal love and tries to get her to act towards him in a way that justifies more of the same controlling behavior that he is comfortable with. Which is to say he keeps wanting to turn SWOT into somebody he can blame and defend against. And she just as surely keeps loving him. This is why it is so hard. I think Bart is trying to heal through SWOT, but part of his way to heal is to keep trying the same old defenses. They call this either working through or repetition compulsion I think. So, what I am coming to accept what Elsi is writing. That all of us are triggered by our circumstances. We may have sought out a relationship to love and in the process we ended up somewhere where the worst of us came up...and we had to work that through until we got in touch again with that in us that is true and strong. I guess I believe that all of us are the same in this, with that potential to reconnect with ourselves and others. Whether or not we do it in this lifespan, is another thing. Thank you for the opportunity to think this through. [/QUOTE]
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Court case is over and Bart isnt happy
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