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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 488413" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Buddy, it is indeed. I've become more detached in order to cope. I found questions I wanted to ask during call but I never did, having decided do I really want the answers? A human can cope with only so much and I'm working so hard to not make this all more difficult that I can handle. Information such as this thing about records can be enraging and it's a effort to not dwell or obsess. Sometimes it's a horrible feeling to not be kept in the loop. Yet some stuff you wish you could be oblivious to. It's a no win situation. </p><p>It feels so invasive even though it shows how desperate they are to try to find some pathetic defense to the numerous charges. There really is nothing useful that we are aware of in medical or therapy files (not just mine but also others). Really all emotional and mental health stuff trickles back to after effects of sexual abuse. It would harm him more than help him that most if not all have had intense therapy for the purposes of coping with the aftermath of his crimes. It's not so much a fear of him getting hands on something damaging. It's more just for me a invaded feeling as that man knowing my history Of the depth of damage he caused. I can't stand him knowing simple facts about me or my life let alone my most private fears or thoughts or scars I may have discussed in the past 20+ years of counselling.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 488413, member: 4264"] Buddy, it is indeed. I've become more detached in order to cope. I found questions I wanted to ask during call but I never did, having decided do I really want the answers? A human can cope with only so much and I'm working so hard to not make this all more difficult that I can handle. Information such as this thing about records can be enraging and it's a effort to not dwell or obsess. Sometimes it's a horrible feeling to not be kept in the loop. Yet some stuff you wish you could be oblivious to. It's a no win situation. It feels so invasive even though it shows how desperate they are to try to find some pathetic defense to the numerous charges. There really is nothing useful that we are aware of in medical or therapy files (not just mine but also others). Really all emotional and mental health stuff trickles back to after effects of sexual abuse. It would harm him more than help him that most if not all have had intense therapy for the purposes of coping with the aftermath of his crimes. It's not so much a fear of him getting hands on something damaging. It's more just for me a invaded feeling as that man knowing my history Of the depth of damage he caused. I can't stand him knowing simple facts about me or my life let alone my most private fears or thoughts or scars I may have discussed in the past 20+ years of counselling. [/QUOTE]
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