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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 758086" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>Thank you DeniD. My daughter talks about people that have filthy homes. She takes walks and then calls me to tell me the junk she sees in peoples garages, how awful it is. When she visits new friends she always tells me how clean or filthy their home is. When I have been sick and not made my bed or there are dishes in the sink she brings that up right away. So I know she can see what out of place looks like.</p><p>I know that her and I have different standards but like some people that just can't see it, I KNOW she can.</p><p>I remember years ago when I spent a week with my very manic bipolar mother in law. Being around her caused me to go into major depression.</p><p>I had it so bad I could hardly get out of bed. My kids went to school clean, the house stayed fairly clean, dinner was made, I was bathed, bills were paid, yard was done. I know things can still be taken care of even with severe depression. I just want to mention that after I got my mother in law out of my life for ever, I have never fallen into such a depression. After my son died, I had severe sorrow and still do but it is not anything like depression. Now if it was just the pig pen lifestyle that my daughter had and she did not lie or deceive or talk ugly maybe, just maybe it would not be so overwhelming.</p><p>I too know people that live in pig pens. It is so disgusting to me that I do not go over the their homes. I would rather pee outside than to use a nasty toilet. I had a friend that had a very cluttered strolled home but it was clean, bathroom was clean. Weird thing is that if someones home is too dirty my daughter will complain about it and not go over either. She will tell me 'that house is too filthy for me to go into'.</p><p>The problem with me being the owner of the home, the expensive upkeep falls on me so a little preventive saves thousands of dollars. In a few short years the house will be paid off. It is truly a lovely home and she tells me she loves her home. We put a huge down payment on it so she can have doable payments. She has priced places to live and she knows she is getting a great deal. She would be living in a studio apartment in a bad part of town for the price she is living in a nice home and nice neighborhood. </p><p>Do I deeply understand that I should walk away and let her live anyway she wants at age 38? YES I do get it. I need to go back to therapy to try to figure out why my need to make sure she is ok is tops on my mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 758086, member: 22416"] Thank you DeniD. My daughter talks about people that have filthy homes. She takes walks and then calls me to tell me the junk she sees in peoples garages, how awful it is. When she visits new friends she always tells me how clean or filthy their home is. When I have been sick and not made my bed or there are dishes in the sink she brings that up right away. So I know she can see what out of place looks like. I know that her and I have different standards but like some people that just can't see it, I KNOW she can. I remember years ago when I spent a week with my very manic bipolar mother in law. Being around her caused me to go into major depression. I had it so bad I could hardly get out of bed. My kids went to school clean, the house stayed fairly clean, dinner was made, I was bathed, bills were paid, yard was done. I know things can still be taken care of even with severe depression. I just want to mention that after I got my mother in law out of my life for ever, I have never fallen into such a depression. After my son died, I had severe sorrow and still do but it is not anything like depression. Now if it was just the pig pen lifestyle that my daughter had and she did not lie or deceive or talk ugly maybe, just maybe it would not be so overwhelming. I too know people that live in pig pens. It is so disgusting to me that I do not go over the their homes. I would rather pee outside than to use a nasty toilet. I had a friend that had a very cluttered strolled home but it was clean, bathroom was clean. Weird thing is that if someones home is too dirty my daughter will complain about it and not go over either. She will tell me 'that house is too filthy for me to go into'. The problem with me being the owner of the home, the expensive upkeep falls on me so a little preventive saves thousands of dollars. In a few short years the house will be paid off. It is truly a lovely home and she tells me she loves her home. We put a huge down payment on it so she can have doable payments. She has priced places to live and she knows she is getting a great deal. She would be living in a studio apartment in a bad part of town for the price she is living in a nice home and nice neighborhood. Do I deeply understand that I should walk away and let her live anyway she wants at age 38? YES I do get it. I need to go back to therapy to try to figure out why my need to make sure she is ok is tops on my mind. [/QUOTE]
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