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Cutting off family & trying to quiet my brain
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 754397" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>JMom, I hope what I have to say is helpful in quieting your mind.</p><p></p><p>My brother is 17 years younger. He was only 6 when our dad passed away in open heart surgery at the age of 45. </p><p></p><p>My mother supported him, until the day she died. He was in his 40s. She always made excuses for him. She also wanted my sister and me to say we would continue her enabling. </p><p></p><p>When mom passes, she left him her home and made it clear for years this was her intentions. I told her I had my own children to care for (little did I know then what that would mean) and my brother was able bodied to care for himself. My mom and I never had harsh words except on this.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, he was not ready for life. My sister paid the taxes on the house for a few years so he wouldn't loose it. He worked odd jobs. It was when my sister found out that he bought himself a brand new smart phone, she had him on her plan, that she finally got it. She was taking over moms position. She quit with much encouragement from me. </p><p></p><p>My brother found a full time job and not only did he show up, 11 years after losing our mother, he is now in a management position. He finally grew up when my mother and sister got out of his way. </p><p></p><p>I learned to enable from the best. My sister (11 years younger) still makes comments about what I should do with Difficult Child 41 y/o end stage liver diseased alcoholic daughter who is horribly abusive. I let it take me down for the last several days. Replying to you reminds me that my sister is coming from the stance of enabler, a position I have chosen to break. </p><p></p><p>Thank you for sharing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 754397, member: 23811"] JMom, I hope what I have to say is helpful in quieting your mind. My brother is 17 years younger. He was only 6 when our dad passed away in open heart surgery at the age of 45. My mother supported him, until the day she died. He was in his 40s. She always made excuses for him. She also wanted my sister and me to say we would continue her enabling. When mom passes, she left him her home and made it clear for years this was her intentions. I told her I had my own children to care for (little did I know then what that would mean) and my brother was able bodied to care for himself. My mom and I never had harsh words except on this. Anyway, he was not ready for life. My sister paid the taxes on the house for a few years so he wouldn't loose it. He worked odd jobs. It was when my sister found out that he bought himself a brand new smart phone, she had him on her plan, that she finally got it. She was taking over moms position. She quit with much encouragement from me. My brother found a full time job and not only did he show up, 11 years after losing our mother, he is now in a management position. He finally grew up when my mother and sister got out of his way. I learned to enable from the best. My sister (11 years younger) still makes comments about what I should do with Difficult Child 41 y/o end stage liver diseased alcoholic daughter who is horribly abusive. I let it take me down for the last several days. Replying to you reminds me that my sister is coming from the stance of enabler, a position I have chosen to break. Thank you for sharing. [/QUOTE]
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Cutting off family & trying to quiet my brain
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