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General Parenting
Cutting ties🤷♀️
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 760083" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Sunshine,</p><p></p><p>Sorry for all your heartache. There is no easy fix to this. Many of us have been through this. There does come a point sometimes where you do have to detach with love and set boundaries. I'm definitely a work in progress and don't have all the answers but setting boundaries for yourself even in small increments and sticking to them will be beneficial. There is definitely some guilt on us parents when we do that but it's necessary. I've had to do it with both of my adult sons and then allowed them back into my home on my terms once I saw some improved changes on their part (which by the way took years). I am still working on this and it's very difficult but it's important to remember that boundaries are not walls. They can be looked at as "bridges" so that it doesn't seem so permanent and harsh from your perspective.</p><p></p><p>Also, remember when you set boundaries they are really for yourself and those whom you're setting them up for will probably not like them and tell you that you're selfish which of course is because they are used getting what they want and when they want it at your emotional, psychological and sometimes financial cost.</p><p></p><p>The best advice is to do what your heart tells you. If you open the gates too wide and abuse starts up again, then close them. It's really a little bit trial and error.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you courage in your journey.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 760083, member: 23405"] Sunshine, Sorry for all your heartache. There is no easy fix to this. Many of us have been through this. There does come a point sometimes where you do have to detach with love and set boundaries. I'm definitely a work in progress and don't have all the answers but setting boundaries for yourself even in small increments and sticking to them will be beneficial. There is definitely some guilt on us parents when we do that but it's necessary. I've had to do it with both of my adult sons and then allowed them back into my home on my terms once I saw some improved changes on their part (which by the way took years). I am still working on this and it's very difficult but it's important to remember that boundaries are not walls. They can be looked at as "bridges" so that it doesn't seem so permanent and harsh from your perspective. Also, remember when you set boundaries they are really for yourself and those whom you're setting them up for will probably not like them and tell you that you're selfish which of course is because they are used getting what they want and when they want it at your emotional, psychological and sometimes financial cost. The best advice is to do what your heart tells you. If you open the gates too wide and abuse starts up again, then close them. It's really a little bit trial and error. Wishing you courage in your journey. [/QUOTE]
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