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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 680275" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Good morning Devastated and welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry. I remember when my son stole from me. I was reeling and it was a game-changer.</p><p></p><p>I later started finding out the extent of his drug addiction, which often is coupled with stealing. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter, as you know, has been "gaming" you for at least a year. </p><p></p><p>Of course you didn't know and you didn't have a reason to suspect her. That is completely understandable.</p><p></p><p>Now you do know. Go slow here. Maybe it's just a shopping thing gone of control and maybe it's something more. You truly don't have to know everything right now.</p><p></p><p>Just try to deal with what is in front of you.</p><p></p><p>I 100 percent agree with everybody who says change the locks. Change them asap. That is a concrete action you can take and one that is necessary I believe.</p><p></p><p>I did that and the act of doing it was awful and my son pushed back hard on me but I had to do it and I'm thankful I did it. He was stealing from me all the time and coming in here when I wasn't at home to get things. They can be incredibly sneaky and we are always 10 steps behind. Believe me when I say that. You probably don't know the half of it.</p><p></p><p>Trust has been broken, and it will likely take a long time to rebuild it. She will have to rebuild trust with her actions. Talk is cheap. Don't believe a word right now. Action is all you can go on.</p><p></p><p>I would let her pay you back, but start the payback very very soon, even if it's $5 a week. If she starts doing this consistently, this will be a very good thing and you can very quickly see positive action.</p><p></p><p>If she doesn't, then that's another matter.</p><p></p><p>While this is going on, take better care of yourself. This is very hard stuff, realizing our grown children have serious problems. It calls everything we thought we knew into question. It takes a huge toll on us. Get more rest, more sleep, go more slowly, do kind things for yourself. Breathe and slow way down. Nothing has to happen very quickly (except the locks). </p><p></p><p>We're here for you. Most of us have been through our kids stealing from us. We get it. We care. Warm hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 680275, member: 17542"] Good morning Devastated and welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry. I remember when my son stole from me. I was reeling and it was a game-changer. I later started finding out the extent of his drug addiction, which often is coupled with stealing. Your daughter, as you know, has been "gaming" you for at least a year. Of course you didn't know and you didn't have a reason to suspect her. That is completely understandable. Now you do know. Go slow here. Maybe it's just a shopping thing gone of control and maybe it's something more. You truly don't have to know everything right now. Just try to deal with what is in front of you. I 100 percent agree with everybody who says change the locks. Change them asap. That is a concrete action you can take and one that is necessary I believe. I did that and the act of doing it was awful and my son pushed back hard on me but I had to do it and I'm thankful I did it. He was stealing from me all the time and coming in here when I wasn't at home to get things. They can be incredibly sneaky and we are always 10 steps behind. Believe me when I say that. You probably don't know the half of it. Trust has been broken, and it will likely take a long time to rebuild it. She will have to rebuild trust with her actions. Talk is cheap. Don't believe a word right now. Action is all you can go on. I would let her pay you back, but start the payback very very soon, even if it's $5 a week. If she starts doing this consistently, this will be a very good thing and you can very quickly see positive action. If she doesn't, then that's another matter. While this is going on, take better care of yourself. This is very hard stuff, realizing our grown children have serious problems. It calls everything we thought we knew into question. It takes a huge toll on us. Get more rest, more sleep, go more slowly, do kind things for yourself. Breathe and slow way down. Nothing has to happen very quickly (except the locks). We're here for you. Most of us have been through our kids stealing from us. We get it. We care. Warm hugs. [/QUOTE]
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