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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 680504" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>Those feelings are completely normal. We become absorbed in our children's chaos, until it overtakes everything else. It will take effort, but you have to regain your life so that you are obsessing on her every minute. Do things for yourself. Work is good, as is posting/learning/reflecting here. But try to do as many "normal" routines as possible, even if they don't feel "normal" or feel forced at first. It helps you reclaim your life.</p><p></p><p>It is also normal to feel that wavering, but the ball is in her court. You need to step back from your emotions and your normal parent instinct to rush in and fix/forgive/forget because she has made this tiny step forward by going to the therapist. I am not underestimating the importance of her going, because it is a step in the right direction. What I am saying is it is only a step, and you don't want to give her the impression that it is enough or that she doesn't need to do much more. As she continues to make progress, you can make progress toward rebuilding what she has torn down in your relationship. Perhaps the same will happen with her sister, but that is between them. </p><p></p><p>Breathe. Watch a movie. Read. Exercise. Go out with friends. Whatever you need to do to get your mind off of this, even if it is only a brief reprieve.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 680504, member: 19905"] Those feelings are completely normal. We become absorbed in our children's chaos, until it overtakes everything else. It will take effort, but you have to regain your life so that you are obsessing on her every minute. Do things for yourself. Work is good, as is posting/learning/reflecting here. But try to do as many "normal" routines as possible, even if they don't feel "normal" or feel forced at first. It helps you reclaim your life. It is also normal to feel that wavering, but the ball is in her court. You need to step back from your emotions and your normal parent instinct to rush in and fix/forgive/forget because she has made this tiny step forward by going to the therapist. I am not underestimating the importance of her going, because it is a step in the right direction. What I am saying is it is only a step, and you don't want to give her the impression that it is enough or that she doesn't need to do much more. As she continues to make progress, you can make progress toward rebuilding what she has torn down in your relationship. Perhaps the same will happen with her sister, but that is between them. Breathe. Watch a movie. Read. Exercise. Go out with friends. Whatever you need to do to get your mind off of this, even if it is only a brief reprieve. [/QUOTE]
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