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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 681298" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>You summed up and validated my feelings perfectly. Seeing my daughter, speaking with her, makes me uncomfortable. It is simultaneously shameful and sad to feel this way, this inability to enjoy her presence, her company. I still sometimes question what kind of mother this makes me, but once again, coming here lets me know I am not alone, I am not a bad person or parent, I am not the only one who struggles with these unnatural feelings and interactions with my child. Thank you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think it is natural as a parent to feel *we* would be the ones to "fix" our children - after all, they are our creation, lived within us and with us, share our DNA, we've experienced their childhood experiences with them, we KNOW them...</p><p></p><p>Yes, we are egotistical in our fervent belief that we can be their saviors, and disrespectful to them as adults and human beings when we continually try instead of letting them come into their own on their own. It is an uncomfortable position to have to let go of that fantasy, let go of that faux control we don't have, let go of that belief that we can fix or change our children anymore than we could do that for anyone else. Look at how hard it is for us to change our need to "fix," "enable," "help"...no matter how many people try to point out to us how fruitless it is. It is a conclusion we have to come to on our own...learning and growing from those mistakes as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 681298, member: 19905"] You summed up and validated my feelings perfectly. Seeing my daughter, speaking with her, makes me uncomfortable. It is simultaneously shameful and sad to feel this way, this inability to enjoy her presence, her company. I still sometimes question what kind of mother this makes me, but once again, coming here lets me know I am not alone, I am not a bad person or parent, I am not the only one who struggles with these unnatural feelings and interactions with my child. Thank you. I think it is natural as a parent to feel *we* would be the ones to "fix" our children - after all, they are our creation, lived within us and with us, share our DNA, we've experienced their childhood experiences with them, we KNOW them... Yes, we are egotistical in our fervent belief that we can be their saviors, and disrespectful to them as adults and human beings when we continually try instead of letting them come into their own on their own. It is an uncomfortable position to have to let go of that fantasy, let go of that faux control we don't have, let go of that belief that we can fix or change our children anymore than we could do that for anyone else. Look at how hard it is for us to change our need to "fix," "enable," "help"...no matter how many people try to point out to us how fruitless it is. It is a conclusion we have to come to on our own...learning and growing from those mistakes as well. [/QUOTE]
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