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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 681313" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I cannot comment at length because I am on the way out. I want to say what a beautiful and honest post this was, Albatross. Thank you.But what you are getting at here, is something brilliant. I must fear where I will likely end up if he does not change.</p><p></p><p>Because I feel myself tethered to him. I feel that there is no tearing myself away. That is what needs to change. Not the love, but the conjoined quality of it.</p><p></p><p>Yes. I agree with this whole-heartedly, what Cedar said.</p><p></p><p>It has something to do with an open heart. And the realization that life is a process, not a result. Somehow we get that when our kids are little and fully dependent upon us. We lose it when they leave us. We are still in process with them, when they are homeless or using drugs. That I think is the problem. They are their own result, because they control entirely their process. Somehow we have lost that.</p><p></p><p>I do not yet know how to change this for myself, but I am grateful for the insight.</p><p></p><p>Somehow the need is to become a fool for love of myself, not in a narcissistic sense but to devote my process to myself. Not that I become anything, anyone different or better, but that the act of devotion be to me each day I have left. And show the respect to my son, that he learn to be such for himself.</p><p></p><p>Easier to say than do. But then, I have not yet devoted myself to it, because I only today thanks to these posts, understood it.</p><p></p><p>I have more to say and will return to say it later.</p><p></p><p>We did not do this in vain, Albatross. We did not do it for a result. I am sure of it. That is where we are lost in a thicket of weeds. We loved. Not for a result. But to love.</p><p></p><p>I have not yet read the post by Walrus and COM but very much look forward to doing so.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 681313, member: 18958"] I cannot comment at length because I am on the way out. I want to say what a beautiful and honest post this was, Albatross. Thank you.But what you are getting at here, is something brilliant. I must fear where I will likely end up if he does not change. Because I feel myself tethered to him. I feel that there is no tearing myself away. That is what needs to change. Not the love, but the conjoined quality of it. Yes. I agree with this whole-heartedly, what Cedar said. It has something to do with an open heart. And the realization that life is a process, not a result. Somehow we get that when our kids are little and fully dependent upon us. We lose it when they leave us. We are still in process with them, when they are homeless or using drugs. That I think is the problem. They are their own result, because they control entirely their process. Somehow we have lost that. I do not yet know how to change this for myself, but I am grateful for the insight. Somehow the need is to become a fool for love of myself, not in a narcissistic sense but to devote my process to myself. Not that I become anything, anyone different or better, but that the act of devotion be to me each day I have left. And show the respect to my son, that he learn to be such for himself. Easier to say than do. But then, I have not yet devoted myself to it, because I only today thanks to these posts, understood it. I have more to say and will return to say it later. We did not do this in vain, Albatross. We did not do it for a result. I am sure of it. That is where we are lost in a thicket of weeds. We loved. Not for a result. But to love. I have not yet read the post by Walrus and COM but very much look forward to doing so. Thank you. COPA [/QUOTE]
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