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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 681451" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>D, you understand about compartments, or think about a file with various folders. You are in the mother folder. The money was in the money folder. She saw the money but not the mother.</p><p></p><p>I take everything personally too. I am learning why. I think I mentioned I was reading a book called <u>When Everything you ever wanted isn't enough</u>, by Rabbi Kushner. I just finished it.</p><p></p><p>This is what I learned. We are afraid to die. Most of us. We want to believe our lives were worth living, that we made a difference in our lives. One way we do is through our children. They are our immortal gift. Through them and their children, our efforts, our spirits, our love, live forever, or at least we believe this on some level.</p><p></p><p>If we believe we failed with our children, we believe (perhaps not consciously) that we failed as people, that our lives failed. That is how deep this is.</p><p></p><p>I almost want to cry writing this, because I believe this is my deep pain. My son, being his mother, was the most important thing in my life. It redeemed me as a person.</p><p></p><p>And I feel I failed. As long as he is walking around with a hoody, not productive, almost homeless--it is I who believe she has failed. And I am piss-d off, because I do not like to fail. I try very hard to not fail. But I have no control over my son. Not one bit.</p><p></p><p>What I am saying will not easily take away the hurt, but it will help you understand. They do not think in terms of hurting or not hurting us. They are working out of their own folders, not ours. They do not think of consequences. I do not know if this is because of brain immaturity or illness or character or what. I do not think that is knowable right now because the proof of the pudding is in the eating...and the pudding is still being cooked.</p><p></p><p>She did not think either of your pain or her love for you or your love for her. She saw that money and she took it. End of story.</p><p></p><p>She did not lie to hurt anybody but to protect herself. However hurtful that was she did not mean to hurt you. I believe this.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 681451, member: 18958"] D, you understand about compartments, or think about a file with various folders. You are in the mother folder. The money was in the money folder. She saw the money but not the mother. I take everything personally too. I am learning why. I think I mentioned I was reading a book called [U]When Everything you ever wanted isn't enough[/U], by Rabbi Kushner. I just finished it. This is what I learned. We are afraid to die. Most of us. We want to believe our lives were worth living, that we made a difference in our lives. One way we do is through our children. They are our immortal gift. Through them and their children, our efforts, our spirits, our love, live forever, or at least we believe this on some level. If we believe we failed with our children, we believe (perhaps not consciously) that we failed as people, that our lives failed. That is how deep this is. I almost want to cry writing this, because I believe this is my deep pain. My son, being his mother, was the most important thing in my life. It redeemed me as a person. And I feel I failed. As long as he is walking around with a hoody, not productive, almost homeless--it is I who believe she has failed. And I am piss-d off, because I do not like to fail. I try very hard to not fail. But I have no control over my son. Not one bit. What I am saying will not easily take away the hurt, but it will help you understand. They do not think in terms of hurting or not hurting us. They are working out of their own folders, not ours. They do not think of consequences. I do not know if this is because of brain immaturity or illness or character or what. I do not think that is knowable right now because the proof of the pudding is in the eating...and the pudding is still being cooked. She did not think either of your pain or her love for you or your love for her. She saw that money and she took it. End of story. She did not lie to hurt anybody but to protect herself. However hurtful that was she did not mean to hurt you. I believe this. COPA [/QUOTE]
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