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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 681760" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I think what you both are writing about is conscience. Moral compass. I found this article and though it is written on degenerative brain diseases, it brushes on the reason why when our children make these awful choices we <em>feel as if we do not know them anymore</em>.</p><p><a href="http://www.psmag.com/health-and-behavior/identity-is-lost-without-a-moral-compass" target="_blank">http://www.psmag.com/health-and-behavior/identity-is-lost-without-a-moral-compass</a></p><p></p><p>I agree that shaming anyone is wrong. I don't think anyone is wishing shame here, just relaying that shame, guilt or anxiety is a consequence of a bad choice made.</p><p></p><p>Certainly, empathy and fellow feeling prevent us from committing horrible acts, and I have to tell you, I read your post a couple of times and said to myself...wait SWOT was not a child molester, never was. Just wanted to clarify that, because some may take that out of context. I think what you are saying is that your love and fellow feeling for children directed your right action with them, not shame.</p><p></p><p>When we do make mistakes and veer from our values, it is a normal reaction to feel shame, guilt, remorse. These emotions teach us and encourage us to make amends. I am not writing about others inflicting these feelings upon us, it is our inner selves, our <em>conscience</em> spurred on by our mistake that works at us.</p><p></p><p>"Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does."</p><p></p><p>Jean-Paul Sartre</p><p></p><p>We all make mistakes. It is what happens after that, is most important, apology, recompense and learning the lesson to make better choices.</p><p></p><p>One would hope that our love and fellow feeling would be enough to prevent us from hurting others, but sometimes we miss the mark, stumble, fall. It is our conscience that goads us on to do better.</p><p></p><p>That is what I think. Though shame, guilt, and anxiety are terrible things to feel, we are motivated to do better by feeling them, because it is very uncomfortable to be in these feeling states. We are being pinched and poked constantly by our conscience. Hopefully the lesson and memory of those feelings, help us to choose more wisely in the future. </p><p></p><p>JMO</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 681760, member: 19522"] I think what you both are writing about is conscience. Moral compass. I found this article and though it is written on degenerative brain diseases, it brushes on the reason why when our children make these awful choices we [I]feel as if we do not know them anymore[/I]. [URL]http://www.psmag.com/health-and-behavior/identity-is-lost-without-a-moral-compass[/URL] I agree that shaming anyone is wrong. I don't think anyone is wishing shame here, just relaying that shame, guilt or anxiety is a consequence of a bad choice made. Certainly, empathy and fellow feeling prevent us from committing horrible acts, and I have to tell you, I read your post a couple of times and said to myself...wait SWOT was not a child molester, never was. Just wanted to clarify that, because some may take that out of context. I think what you are saying is that your love and fellow feeling for children directed your right action with them, not shame. When we do make mistakes and veer from our values, it is a normal reaction to feel shame, guilt, remorse. These emotions teach us and encourage us to make amends. I am not writing about others inflicting these feelings upon us, it is our inner selves, our [I]conscience[/I] spurred on by our mistake that works at us. "Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does." Jean-Paul Sartre We all make mistakes. It is what happens after that, is most important, apology, recompense and learning the lesson to make better choices. One would hope that our love and fellow feeling would be enough to prevent us from hurting others, but sometimes we miss the mark, stumble, fall. It is our conscience that goads us on to do better. That is what I think. Though shame, guilt, and anxiety are terrible things to feel, we are motivated to do better by feeling them, because it is very uncomfortable to be in these feeling states. We are being pinched and poked constantly by our conscience. Hopefully the lesson and memory of those feelings, help us to choose more wisely in the future. JMO leafy [/QUOTE]
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