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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 681796" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>Yes and no, Devastated. I have had to seek my own therapy to attempt to understand the complexities and ranges of her disorder. From my own counseling and everything I have read, she does understand right from wrong. She is not someone who is incapable of understanding that her behaviors are hurtful, extreme, and dramatic. She does know the difference between right and wrong. She knows when she is manipulating, lying, etc. But she has black/white thinking. I am either all wonderful or all evil, depending on the day, the minute, the situation. She is that way with everyone, but I get the worst of her behavior. Drug abuse and a recent injury has made it much worse and her behaviors and thinking are very erratic and irrational at times. She will seize certain phrases, words, etc, "see" things in a person's tone or look that may or may not be there, can be overly paranoid, etc. To be honest, I could be more empathetic if she didn't know right from wrong.</p><p></p><p>As far as "control" it, not without serious intervention. She has to be willing to accept that it is her and not everyone else, and put in the work. There are many success stories with therapy for her disorder. It is an odd situation with her. She is willing to admit she has an issue when it benefits her - housing, SSI, empathy and handouts from others. When it comes to actually getting help and it forcing her to confront herself and admit she needs to change, she completely balks and refuses the therapy she needs. </p><p></p><p>I did not mean to offend, Copa. We all have to find the ways that work with our own very different situations. I wish I could tell my daughter the truth, any truth. Not only how much she hurts me, worries me, frightens me with her choices, words and actions, but how much I love her, miss her, need her to come back to me. All she is able to hear are "criticisms," no matter how I word it, and whatever tenuous peace I have is immediately broken and she berates me with my own words. The therapist explained it is a "retraining" of how to interact by responding to good choices and behaviors, and ignoring or removing myself when she makes bad ones. Unfortunately, she has many people in her life that continue to feed into and "reward" the things she says and does.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 681796, member: 19905"] Yes and no, Devastated. I have had to seek my own therapy to attempt to understand the complexities and ranges of her disorder. From my own counseling and everything I have read, she does understand right from wrong. She is not someone who is incapable of understanding that her behaviors are hurtful, extreme, and dramatic. She does know the difference between right and wrong. She knows when she is manipulating, lying, etc. But she has black/white thinking. I am either all wonderful or all evil, depending on the day, the minute, the situation. She is that way with everyone, but I get the worst of her behavior. Drug abuse and a recent injury has made it much worse and her behaviors and thinking are very erratic and irrational at times. She will seize certain phrases, words, etc, "see" things in a person's tone or look that may or may not be there, can be overly paranoid, etc. To be honest, I could be more empathetic if she didn't know right from wrong. As far as "control" it, not without serious intervention. She has to be willing to accept that it is her and not everyone else, and put in the work. There are many success stories with therapy for her disorder. It is an odd situation with her. She is willing to admit she has an issue when it benefits her - housing, SSI, empathy and handouts from others. When it comes to actually getting help and it forcing her to confront herself and admit she needs to change, she completely balks and refuses the therapy she needs. I did not mean to offend, Copa. We all have to find the ways that work with our own very different situations. I wish I could tell my daughter the truth, any truth. Not only how much she hurts me, worries me, frightens me with her choices, words and actions, but how much I love her, miss her, need her to come back to me. All she is able to hear are "criticisms," no matter how I word it, and whatever tenuous peace I have is immediately broken and she berates me with my own words. The therapist explained it is a "retraining" of how to interact by responding to good choices and behaviors, and ignoring or removing myself when she makes bad ones. Unfortunately, she has many people in her life that continue to feed into and "reward" the things she says and does. [/QUOTE]
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