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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 681797" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You did not offend, Walrus. We are all of us very sensitive. I believe there could not, not be a sense of personal failure whether we admit it to ourselves or not. It is good for me to represent myself truly and for others too to see that we struggle, and do not always do it "right." When I first came to this board my feelings got easily hurt. I am trying hard to speak up for myself. In doing so I believe I speak to others as well. In our case, I had to deal with my son's recurrent hospitalizations for suicidality. And he was homeless off and on or close to it. I know how afraid I was. I am still afraid.</p><p></p><p>But I was able to insist that he fend for himself. Even with a chronic illness, for which he required treatment. This was the hardest thing for me, because I am afraid he will die. But I had to face that he could die and accept that I could not prevent it. When I faced that, it all got easier. Our children have a great deal of power over us because we love and do not want to lose them. That power over us may not be good for them.</p><p>I wonder if this is a way that she seeks to control you, and if there is an element of choice in this. Defensiveness is always easier in the short run as a strategy to volley responsibility back to others. My son does it too.</p><p></p><p>I do not know how or why it has started to change but I think it might be that the way he was living was so difficult (near street, always having to pack up and move on. Losing stuff. Not feeling secure or safe) And there is the motivation now to live better.</p><p></p><p>He must cooperate and listen if he wants my help. Or it may be his age. As I said in another thread 27 is the magic age for males when their brains reach a level of maturity, some of them.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 681797, member: 18958"] You did not offend, Walrus. We are all of us very sensitive. I believe there could not, not be a sense of personal failure whether we admit it to ourselves or not. It is good for me to represent myself truly and for others too to see that we struggle, and do not always do it "right." When I first came to this board my feelings got easily hurt. I am trying hard to speak up for myself. In doing so I believe I speak to others as well. In our case, I had to deal with my son's recurrent hospitalizations for suicidality. And he was homeless off and on or close to it. I know how afraid I was. I am still afraid. But I was able to insist that he fend for himself. Even with a chronic illness, for which he required treatment. This was the hardest thing for me, because I am afraid he will die. But I had to face that he could die and accept that I could not prevent it. When I faced that, it all got easier. Our children have a great deal of power over us because we love and do not want to lose them. That power over us may not be good for them. I wonder if this is a way that she seeks to control you, and if there is an element of choice in this. Defensiveness is always easier in the short run as a strategy to volley responsibility back to others. My son does it too. I do not know how or why it has started to change but I think it might be that the way he was living was so difficult (near street, always having to pack up and move on. Losing stuff. Not feeling secure or safe) And there is the motivation now to live better. He must cooperate and listen if he wants my help. Or it may be his age. As I said in another thread 27 is the magic age for males when their brains reach a level of maturity, some of them. COPA [/QUOTE]
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