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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="Sister's Keeper" data-source="post: 683844" data-attributes="member: 20051"><p>I don't want this to sound harsh, please don't take it in that vein, but, perhaps, you are looking for something she doesn't have. Answers. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter is early in the therapy process, she may not, yet, know why she did what she did. From what you have said she seems to be remorseful for her actions and she seems to be trying to make amends. </p><p></p><p>Playing devil's advocate, she may be embarrassed and ashamed of her own actions. I realize you feel hurt and betrayed, that is only natural, but what are your plans going forward in your relationship with her?</p><p></p><p>If your plan is to rebuild a relationship with her, and granted it may never be able to be the same relationship you had, violated trust is a very hard thing to overcome, you are going to need to find a way to move past this incident. Is it possible for you to attend therapy sessions with her, or on your own, to help you cope with your feelings toward her? </p><p></p><p>If your plan is to detach from her, and I don't get that feeling in your posts, then maybe you need some individual therapy to help you do that. It is very difficult to do, and I would imagine even more so with a child. With my sister, it is a very superficial relationship at this point, and it has to be that way, and she is aware of it. I send occasional cards, pics of the kids, but emotionally, I have to be very distant, but my sister is a drug addict and in prison, and she knows that the only way that we can ever try to rebuild a relationship is if she has an extended period and a real commitment to sobriety.</p><p></p><p>With your daughter (and I am not sure how to word this so I don't sound horrible) it sounds more like you are punishing her rather than detaching from her. Maybe she doesn't, yet, have answers for you about why she did what she did, maybe she is too ashamed to talk about it. Sometimes the shopping thing is related to bipolar mania, but a lot of times it is more related to trying to fill an emotional void in her life with material things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sister's Keeper, post: 683844, member: 20051"] I don't want this to sound harsh, please don't take it in that vein, but, perhaps, you are looking for something she doesn't have. Answers. Your daughter is early in the therapy process, she may not, yet, know why she did what she did. From what you have said she seems to be remorseful for her actions and she seems to be trying to make amends. Playing devil's advocate, she may be embarrassed and ashamed of her own actions. I realize you feel hurt and betrayed, that is only natural, but what are your plans going forward in your relationship with her? If your plan is to rebuild a relationship with her, and granted it may never be able to be the same relationship you had, violated trust is a very hard thing to overcome, you are going to need to find a way to move past this incident. Is it possible for you to attend therapy sessions with her, or on your own, to help you cope with your feelings toward her? If your plan is to detach from her, and I don't get that feeling in your posts, then maybe you need some individual therapy to help you do that. It is very difficult to do, and I would imagine even more so with a child. With my sister, it is a very superficial relationship at this point, and it has to be that way, and she is aware of it. I send occasional cards, pics of the kids, but emotionally, I have to be very distant, but my sister is a drug addict and in prison, and she knows that the only way that we can ever try to rebuild a relationship is if she has an extended period and a real commitment to sobriety. With your daughter (and I am not sure how to word this so I don't sound horrible) it sounds more like you are punishing her rather than detaching from her. Maybe she doesn't, yet, have answers for you about why she did what she did, maybe she is too ashamed to talk about it. Sometimes the shopping thing is related to bipolar mania, but a lot of times it is more related to trying to fill an emotional void in her life with material things. [/QUOTE]
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