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Daughter and Christmas
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 705377" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I know we have gone above and beyond for difficult child. Interestingly, she could be the favorite child, because I (we) enjoy her intellect, her kind heart and it's fun to have a daughter. In certain ways, I can relate to a daughter a little better. She is special in her own way. We recognize (all of us) that she is sensitive (over sensitive) to being the only adopted child in a family...having a bio brother. But, I do think she needs to take SOME personal responsibility for her difficulties. She is plenty old enough to recognize that she suffers from some issues...depression at Christmas...being one of them. So, she can see a therapist for help. She seems to make choices that are not in her best interest and often detrimental to the family. I think she has the self fulfilling prophecy "thing" going on. I'm fat, so I might as well eat this entire cake. No one likes me, so I might as well be crabby. Something like that. We are all sick of it. Each one of us have our own personal burdens. Yes, due to her illness and adoption sensitivities, it surely is very hard. BUT, hard doesn't mean completely give up, burden other people, be unkind, uncaring and make things a thousand times worse. It's human nature to feel empathy for someone who is trying at least a little. Even if they fail, if they try the effort is appreciated. She does not seem to try. Extra care, empathy, kindness, monies, forgiveness, attention, love, time...extra everything has been given to her. What does she want from people? Does she want to "test" us? I think we passed. Enough. Thirty years? Come on. She has to pick up the ball and start running with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 705377, member: 4152"] I know we have gone above and beyond for difficult child. Interestingly, she could be the favorite child, because I (we) enjoy her intellect, her kind heart and it's fun to have a daughter. In certain ways, I can relate to a daughter a little better. She is special in her own way. We recognize (all of us) that she is sensitive (over sensitive) to being the only adopted child in a family...having a bio brother. But, I do think she needs to take SOME personal responsibility for her difficulties. She is plenty old enough to recognize that she suffers from some issues...depression at Christmas...being one of them. So, she can see a therapist for help. She seems to make choices that are not in her best interest and often detrimental to the family. I think she has the self fulfilling prophecy "thing" going on. I'm fat, so I might as well eat this entire cake. No one likes me, so I might as well be crabby. Something like that. We are all sick of it. Each one of us have our own personal burdens. Yes, due to her illness and adoption sensitivities, it surely is very hard. BUT, hard doesn't mean completely give up, burden other people, be unkind, uncaring and make things a thousand times worse. It's human nature to feel empathy for someone who is trying at least a little. Even if they fail, if they try the effort is appreciated. She does not seem to try. Extra care, empathy, kindness, monies, forgiveness, attention, love, time...extra everything has been given to her. What does she want from people? Does she want to "test" us? I think we passed. Enough. Thirty years? Come on. She has to pick up the ball and start running with it. [/QUOTE]
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