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Daughter "Back" With Abusive Ex... Demanding Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752883" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Good.I don't understand what this means. Is it that you can only go further to solidify legal rights if the parent pushes in court?</p><p></p><p>ChickPea. I think you've gone above and beyond to maintain a loving and supportive relationship with your daughter, and to support her to become a functional parent. She has thwarted you at every turn. She has acted to disrupt and to destabilize your home, your psyche, and has been indifferent to how her actions and her machinations threaten her child and/or potentially subject him to harm.</p><p></p><p>I recognize that you are mother to one and mother-substitute/grandmother to another, and that you are trying to juggle these roles, to the welfare of both, while keeping your head above water and your family safe. To me, it seems that your interests, and your grandson's would be served by distance from your daughter. It can be argued, too, that distance from both of you benefits your daughter, too.</p><p></p><p>I struggle with this all of the time. Does my support of my son when he acts badly really help him? Or am I feeding his negative traits and bad behaviors?</p><p></p><p>All of us here are not there with you and do not suffer the consequences. But it seems to me that a stronger boundary makes most sense now. The re-appearance of this dangerous, controlling, criminally-behaving man adds another frightening dimension. This is on top of your daughter's behavior which is impulsive, capricious, uncaring, out of control and selfish. The very thought that she could accede to this man's aims is chilling to the max.</p><p></p><p>I agree with Wise that this man may be egging her on. For what? To get custody of the child, so as to get welfare money? To get control over your daughter, through the baby? This is scary. Both that he could be so evil, and she so malleable and indifferent to her own interests and those of her baby.</p><p></p><p>I am very sorry this continues so hard. You are doing anything and everything that a loving parent and grandparent could do. All I can say is to think about upping the ante, so that you and the baby would be safe, by limiting even more so, access by your daughter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752883, member: 18958"] Good.I don't understand what this means. Is it that you can only go further to solidify legal rights if the parent pushes in court? ChickPea. I think you've gone above and beyond to maintain a loving and supportive relationship with your daughter, and to support her to become a functional parent. She has thwarted you at every turn. She has acted to disrupt and to destabilize your home, your psyche, and has been indifferent to how her actions and her machinations threaten her child and/or potentially subject him to harm. I recognize that you are mother to one and mother-substitute/grandmother to another, and that you are trying to juggle these roles, to the welfare of both, while keeping your head above water and your family safe. To me, it seems that your interests, and your grandson's would be served by distance from your daughter. It can be argued, too, that distance from both of you benefits your daughter, too. I struggle with this all of the time. Does my support of my son when he acts badly really help him? Or am I feeding his negative traits and bad behaviors? All of us here are not there with you and do not suffer the consequences. But it seems to me that a stronger boundary makes most sense now. The re-appearance of this dangerous, controlling, criminally-behaving man adds another frightening dimension. This is on top of your daughter's behavior which is impulsive, capricious, uncaring, out of control and selfish. The very thought that she could accede to this man's aims is chilling to the max. I agree with Wise that this man may be egging her on. For what? To get custody of the child, so as to get welfare money? To get control over your daughter, through the baby? This is scary. Both that he could be so evil, and she so malleable and indifferent to her own interests and those of her baby. I am very sorry this continues so hard. You are doing anything and everything that a loving parent and grandparent could do. All I can say is to think about upping the ante, so that you and the baby would be safe, by limiting even more so, access by your daughter. [/QUOTE]
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