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Daughter "Back" With Abusive Ex... Demanding Child
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 752929" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>My thoughts are if your daughter wants to terminate her parental rights it may be the best thing for your grandson. I am dealing with the fallout of two teens and a preteen growing up in the chaos of addiction, violence and neglect. It is not pretty. Read up on ACEs (adverse childhood events) and the effect on brain growth. My 18 year old son grew up with his sisters coming and going as we tried desperately to help them. He has anxiety and ptsd from that mess. I didn’t realize at the time how much it was affecting him. </p><p>There is a chance for my grands to heal and learn to respond to situations rather than be triggered into spiraling reactionary rage. It will take some time and a lot of therapy. </p><p>You have an opportunity to prevent the damage and a lot of heartache for your grandson.</p><p>It is hard to let go and let God. We think that maybe something we can say or do will stop the madness. Truth be told, addicts lie and manipulate loved ones to make it easier for them to use drugs. They have thrown aside the values that we taught them for the next high. Partying is everything. It’s sad. </p><p>I still have hope for my two addicted using daughters. I didn’t give up on them, I gave them over to God, knowing that their issues are far more than I can handle, or fix. The more we thought we could help them, the more they used us, stole from us, took our peace of mind and turned our home into a war zone. </p><p>One would think that a precious child would motivate change, but addicted, drug using people don’t think or act from normalcy or decency. They are drugnapped. This is a horrible combination for any kind of parenting.</p><p>I am so sorry for your troubled heart. You are taking steps to set boundaries with indecent behaviors, that is a start. </p><p>I look back and am aghast at what we put up with, trying to save our two.Getting TRO’s, rearranging the house to accommodate our grands and my daughter, calling CPS, it was a crazy time. That cycled on for years, my husband became ill and was hospitalized several times, that did not stop their using. He passed, that did not stop their using. I kept waiting for a wake up call, they are still using. </p><p>My daughter has popped in twice now, after not seeing her kids for two years. She is cavalier and chatty, acts as if nothing has happened. I cringe because I know it is hurtful for her kids. </p><p>Meanwhile, we are all dealing with years of pent up trauma bursting out of them at the slightest trigger. </p><p>It is reliving the nightmare of their parents choices all over again.</p><p> Take steps to protect your grandson from this madness.</p><p>It will mean a world of difference for his growth and a chance at a normal, decent life.</p><p>Much love to you.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 752929, member: 19522"] My thoughts are if your daughter wants to terminate her parental rights it may be the best thing for your grandson. I am dealing with the fallout of two teens and a preteen growing up in the chaos of addiction, violence and neglect. It is not pretty. Read up on ACEs (adverse childhood events) and the effect on brain growth. My 18 year old son grew up with his sisters coming and going as we tried desperately to help them. He has anxiety and ptsd from that mess. I didn’t realize at the time how much it was affecting him. There is a chance for my grands to heal and learn to respond to situations rather than be triggered into spiraling reactionary rage. It will take some time and a lot of therapy. You have an opportunity to prevent the damage and a lot of heartache for your grandson. It is hard to let go and let God. We think that maybe something we can say or do will stop the madness. Truth be told, addicts lie and manipulate loved ones to make it easier for them to use drugs. They have thrown aside the values that we taught them for the next high. Partying is everything. It’s sad. I still have hope for my two addicted using daughters. I didn’t give up on them, I gave them over to God, knowing that their issues are far more than I can handle, or fix. The more we thought we could help them, the more they used us, stole from us, took our peace of mind and turned our home into a war zone. One would think that a precious child would motivate change, but addicted, drug using people don’t think or act from normalcy or decency. They are drugnapped. This is a horrible combination for any kind of parenting. I am so sorry for your troubled heart. You are taking steps to set boundaries with indecent behaviors, that is a start. I look back and am aghast at what we put up with, trying to save our two.Getting TRO’s, rearranging the house to accommodate our grands and my daughter, calling CPS, it was a crazy time. That cycled on for years, my husband became ill and was hospitalized several times, that did not stop their using. He passed, that did not stop their using. I kept waiting for a wake up call, they are still using. My daughter has popped in twice now, after not seeing her kids for two years. She is cavalier and chatty, acts as if nothing has happened. I cringe because I know it is hurtful for her kids. Meanwhile, we are all dealing with years of pent up trauma bursting out of them at the slightest trigger. It is reliving the nightmare of their parents choices all over again. Take steps to protect your grandson from this madness. It will mean a world of difference for his growth and a chance at a normal, decent life. Much love to you. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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