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Daughter reached out- I responded-Having hard time
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 750968" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Hi! Welcome! I don't know a lot of the background story here, but you tagged personality disorder. It is very common for Borderline (BPD) patients to accuse others of having the disease. I was reminded of that when she said that you would never see the daughter that only listens to your illness anymore .It sounds like she is projecting. </p><p></p><p>We cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. I am working so hard on acceptance these days, radical acceptance . I have learned with my daughter that anything I say that points towards me wanting her to change is pushed back on . My inner workings of detachment etc don't need to be disclosed to her . I tell her I love her and that's it . It is up to her to want to change, to get help, to do the work - or not. I have to be ok with either , because I have to make it whether others do or dont.</p><p></p><p>I used to wait for the break through, the right words from her that signaled hope and change. But that is what I needed to feel ok and eleviate my fears. When I truly let go and trust my Higher Power , I can move myself out of anxiety without anyone needing to change .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 750968, member: 24254"] Hi! Welcome! I don't know a lot of the background story here, but you tagged personality disorder. It is very common for Borderline (BPD) patients to accuse others of having the disease. I was reminded of that when she said that you would never see the daughter that only listens to your illness anymore .It sounds like she is projecting. We cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. I am working so hard on acceptance these days, radical acceptance . I have learned with my daughter that anything I say that points towards me wanting her to change is pushed back on . My inner workings of detachment etc don't need to be disclosed to her . I tell her I love her and that's it . It is up to her to want to change, to get help, to do the work - or not. I have to be ok with either , because I have to make it whether others do or dont. I used to wait for the break through, the right words from her that signaled hope and change. But that is what I needed to feel ok and eleviate my fears. When I truly let go and trust my Higher Power , I can move myself out of anxiety without anyone needing to change . [/QUOTE]
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Daughter reached out- I responded-Having hard time
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