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Daughter reached out- I responded-Having hard time
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 750983" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Thank you for the blessing and may God bless you.</p><p></p><p>I have kept up with your posts about Kay. You are right. I quit giving money in 2016, had to, she would drain us of every penny and not think a thing about it. May has been with many men and used her good looks. I think she behaves the way she does for many reasons all rooted in self-esteem. She has jumped from abusive men since reaching adulthood, the last for 4-5 years. They all paid for her financially. I begged her to at least get an education, the last one was willing to pay for it. He even put her up in her own place for two years. He gave her a Lexus with the promise to sign it over when paid off (business write off for him, they have all been wealthy). She couldn't pay for upkeep, insur, etc. So, I did, thinking she needed transportation for when she went to work. She spent all the money on gambling, etc. etc. Credit card debt, AGAIN! I am sure this, as always, was her playing on my emotions. She is very manipulative. </p><p></p><p>May was a quiet, high achiever, and when a teen, she had a great work ethic. What she wants now as a middle aged, very mean, alcoholic is someone to take care of her. Thing is, for the past 3-4 years her relationships last a nano-second. </p><p></p><p>I posted once before about her deceased dad's brother's wife, her opinion, etc. etc. May said later in our exchange that her aunt S will be the one to notify me about anything I need to know. Aunt S, hasn't a clue. She is about 10 years too late. Aunt S refuses to acknowledge personality disorder. May is self medicating with alcohol for her personality disorder. May is also bolemic and her labwork shows malnutrition. Aunt S said if I didn't intervene, my daughter was going to die and it would be my fault. My son (his aunt too) contacted her and told her to lay off, that she hasn't a clue the way May has treated me, the extent of her problems, or the numerous times the family and some of her friends have intervened. The fact is May has to want it, and she doesn't. We are all worn out with trying again and again, major personal sacrifices to help May help herself (no family in Nevada and now her friends there moved back to their hometowns.) She will eventually treat aunt S the same way, that is if aunt S is willing to make the sacrifices all the rest of us have made. I think aunt S cares, but she is not equipped to help May. I know May needs serious mental health help. There are therapists not equipped to care for Borderline (BPD).</p><p></p><p>The rest of the texts escalated and I stopped responding when she told me if she has cancer (she named all the tests she was getting and none of them are for cancer, they are all for liver function/damage) she does not want me around her, she forbids me to cry, because I don't deserve to. Knowing her death is near if she doesn't get help for her personality disorder (not formally diagnosed, but my sibling is a mental health nurse practitioner) and alcoholism (detoxed once with my siblings help to get her there), makes it so hard. I stress over and over again that we are all here to support her, but only if she makes healthy choices. She refuses to take responsibility for her choices. She is a victim. I get so made because there are so many who can't change their health but chose to live a positive life, seeing adversity as opportunity, and May can get better, but won't.</p><p></p><p>Sorry to unload with a book.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 750983, member: 23811"] Thank you for the blessing and may God bless you. I have kept up with your posts about Kay. You are right. I quit giving money in 2016, had to, she would drain us of every penny and not think a thing about it. May has been with many men and used her good looks. I think she behaves the way she does for many reasons all rooted in self-esteem. She has jumped from abusive men since reaching adulthood, the last for 4-5 years. They all paid for her financially. I begged her to at least get an education, the last one was willing to pay for it. He even put her up in her own place for two years. He gave her a Lexus with the promise to sign it over when paid off (business write off for him, they have all been wealthy). She couldn't pay for upkeep, insur, etc. So, I did, thinking she needed transportation for when she went to work. She spent all the money on gambling, etc. etc. Credit card debt, AGAIN! I am sure this, as always, was her playing on my emotions. She is very manipulative. May was a quiet, high achiever, and when a teen, she had a great work ethic. What she wants now as a middle aged, very mean, alcoholic is someone to take care of her. Thing is, for the past 3-4 years her relationships last a nano-second. I posted once before about her deceased dad's brother's wife, her opinion, etc. etc. May said later in our exchange that her aunt S will be the one to notify me about anything I need to know. Aunt S, hasn't a clue. She is about 10 years too late. Aunt S refuses to acknowledge personality disorder. May is self medicating with alcohol for her personality disorder. May is also bolemic and her labwork shows malnutrition. Aunt S said if I didn't intervene, my daughter was going to die and it would be my fault. My son (his aunt too) contacted her and told her to lay off, that she hasn't a clue the way May has treated me, the extent of her problems, or the numerous times the family and some of her friends have intervened. The fact is May has to want it, and she doesn't. We are all worn out with trying again and again, major personal sacrifices to help May help herself (no family in Nevada and now her friends there moved back to their hometowns.) She will eventually treat aunt S the same way, that is if aunt S is willing to make the sacrifices all the rest of us have made. I think aunt S cares, but she is not equipped to help May. I know May needs serious mental health help. There are therapists not equipped to care for Borderline (BPD). The rest of the texts escalated and I stopped responding when she told me if she has cancer (she named all the tests she was getting and none of them are for cancer, they are all for liver function/damage) she does not want me around her, she forbids me to cry, because I don't deserve to. Knowing her death is near if she doesn't get help for her personality disorder (not formally diagnosed, but my sibling is a mental health nurse practitioner) and alcoholism (detoxed once with my siblings help to get her there), makes it so hard. I stress over and over again that we are all here to support her, but only if she makes healthy choices. She refuses to take responsibility for her choices. She is a victim. I get so made because there are so many who can't change their health but chose to live a positive life, seeing adversity as opportunity, and May can get better, but won't. Sorry to unload with a book. [/QUOTE]
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