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Daughter's trouble with friends
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 705465" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Yes. Let it go. When my older daughter had friend trouble she decided drugs were the answer and she used them. Her drug use quickly made her, as she put it, the most popular girl in school. She is an adopted Asian girl and beautiful...I'm sure that helped but not in a good way. Until she used drugs nobody said anything to her about her beauty. She was just very quiet.</p><p></p><p>Popular doesn't mean well behaved, focused or even nice. Girls have their own rules. There are different crowds. The most accepting crowd for new members is the outcast/rebel/be angry at the world crowd . My oldest was shy and this bad crowd was the only one open to her after we moved. She did quit drugs but as it went on in high school we so wished she was back to her shy self...The one who was very sensitive so that her friends thought she was too naive and kept dumping her. She was happier than when drugging and popular!</p><p></p><p>Teen girls are mean and most of us had social problems as teens. I feel it is far more important at that age to learn who you are and think about what you want to do with your life. When your daughter is older and hits her stride she will decide what kind of permanant friends she wants.</p><p></p><p>Often the girl who gets dumped just isn't druggy enough or sexual enough for a crowd, at least in the teen years. Crowd mentality can be dangerous. You follow the crowds often dangerous rules or you can't be a member. Then you can end up on our forums of Subtance Abuse or Parent Emeritus for parents of drugs addicts and adult kids who have no ambition and won't work and smoke pot every single day (very motivation killing).</p><p></p><p>Relax and she will relax. Oh, and thanks for calling me wise...Lol. if I am, it was a hard battle from despair to peace!! I have learned not to stress too much and to go with life's flow with gratitude.</p><p></p><p>My best advice is...You have a good kid. Don't make her think anything is wrong with her, let her talk to you but do not over react and get therapy for yourself. No child likes a helicopter mom...Lol.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you. Keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 705465, member: 1550"] Yes. Let it go. When my older daughter had friend trouble she decided drugs were the answer and she used them. Her drug use quickly made her, as she put it, the most popular girl in school. She is an adopted Asian girl and beautiful...I'm sure that helped but not in a good way. Until she used drugs nobody said anything to her about her beauty. She was just very quiet. Popular doesn't mean well behaved, focused or even nice. Girls have their own rules. There are different crowds. The most accepting crowd for new members is the outcast/rebel/be angry at the world crowd . My oldest was shy and this bad crowd was the only one open to her after we moved. She did quit drugs but as it went on in high school we so wished she was back to her shy self...The one who was very sensitive so that her friends thought she was too naive and kept dumping her. She was happier than when drugging and popular! Teen girls are mean and most of us had social problems as teens. I feel it is far more important at that age to learn who you are and think about what you want to do with your life. When your daughter is older and hits her stride she will decide what kind of permanant friends she wants. Often the girl who gets dumped just isn't druggy enough or sexual enough for a crowd, at least in the teen years. Crowd mentality can be dangerous. You follow the crowds often dangerous rules or you can't be a member. Then you can end up on our forums of Subtance Abuse or Parent Emeritus for parents of drugs addicts and adult kids who have no ambition and won't work and smoke pot every single day (very motivation killing). Relax and she will relax. Oh, and thanks for calling me wise...Lol. if I am, it was a hard battle from despair to peace!! I have learned not to stress too much and to go with life's flow with gratitude. My best advice is...You have a good kid. Don't make her think anything is wrong with her, let her talk to you but do not over react and get therapy for yourself. No child likes a helicopter mom...Lol. Hugs to you. Keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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