Sorry, David. I didn't mean to confuse my input...I meant to
recap and acknowledge that some relatives must be avoided at all
costs. One of the CD members posted earlier in the thread saying
that eliminating all contact with "toxic" family members was a
necessity. Obviously, for example, your biodad was "toxic" and
obviously neither you nor your son would want to have any contact
with him. I was acknowledging that those type of relatives were
not the ones I was referring to when I suggested that Justin be
encouraged to feel the strength of extended family.
I don't want to beat a dead horse, lol. My suggestion is that
it is natural to see the situation as "you and your son" trying
to forge a new and happier life but...after difficult child is out of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)
he will be rejoining society and aiming at finding "his" place in
the world. This is easier to do when you feel the sense of extended family as a loosely knit safety net. As he learns to
accept the faults and embrace the strengths of various family members, it will be easier for him to accept his own faults and
cherish his own individual strengths.
The reference to "the turnip" was just a last use of my Dads
expression. The point being? Well, you are a healthy man who
anticipates having another fifty years to parent. Ugly things
happen in life to good people sometimes. Since there is no way
of knowing what the future will bring, as a parent it is wise to
prepare our children to live independently just in case we are not there to nurture/support/parent them. The correspondence
you are allowing is an example. Good choice. That gives your
son another family member to connect with.
If you have access to the counselor that you and Justin shared
before he went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I really think you should pick up the phone and utilize him as a sounding board for your adjustment.
It should be helpful for you and the healthier and happier you are in your life, the healthier and happier Justin will be, too.
DDD
