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*Deep breath* I think we have reached a tipping point
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 733238" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Just my thoughts</p><p></p><p>Wilderness camps can be abusive. Many have been shut down. There have been deaths. Be very careful. Visit first. Look online for reviews. Check YouTube to see if anyone had a problem. They get money so of course the people who work there make these wilderness camps sound great.</p><p></p><p>Also, as an observer, I have been on this board for over a decade and read many stories. Not one time...not once...has this wilderness camps worked for the long term. It can help for a few months or it can enrage the kids and make them worse and hateful toward the parents. That is one option I would never use. There are not a lot of regulations...they can pretty much do what they want.</p><p></p><p>Residential is also hardly perfect. There is no perfect solution, no magic treatment or medication, for criminally inclined kids. Interestingly, I have read in a few psychiatric spots that the propensity to become a criminal is often inherited. As the mom of three adopted kids, this interested me and scared me but I only had one bad experience in that regard. Unfortunately, itiwas bad </p><p></p><p>We did foster/adopt a child who was a nightmare although he was 11 when he joined us. In front of us he was nice to us and our pets and never touched fire. After we had CPS remove him for molesting my beloved adopted littles, the young ones finally admitted that he abused neighborhood animals and killed our dogs (we had never ever suspected HIM of this horrible crime...he acted like he just loved our pets in front of us) and we also found out that he had stolen a lighter from Walmart while with us and enjoyed setting mini fires to scare our littles. He hid his worst well. The littles were too scared of him to tell us. He convinced them he would set the house on fire and kill us all if they ever tattled on him for anything. He convinced them he was The Devil although we never taught them about a devil. He was a good talker and actor, both parts of his dangerousness.</p><p></p><p>He was taken to a juvenile prison and diagnosed with Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder, which is like CD. A child who is leaning toward psychopathy. It took two years before he got a diagnosis that made sense. Your son may have attachment or conduct disorder because you don't know the entirety of what he does, as we did not with our child. Also, diagnoses are subjective, up to the interpretation of the professional. There are no blood tests to verify their being right or wrong. The DSM is not perfect and constantly changing. So by it's nature, it is not always correct.</p><p></p><p>Was your son adopted right away? Did his birth mother take any drugs or drink while pregnant? In utero substance exposure affects our kids very much. Two of my adoptees, including the dangerous one, was drug exposed in utero.</p><p></p><p>I think you need to watch R. carefully. Too often the mental health system misdignoses and gives wrong treatment to VERY disturbed and dangerous kids because these kids can put on a good face and because nobody wants to believe a child can be a criminal. As parents we sure don't. But our boy was. He didn't function in a family and we were allowed to give up custody. He would ave always been dangerous to the 3 and 5 year old. And to all of us.</p><p></p><p>I believe he may have set the house on fire and killed more animals. When asked he had no idea why he did any of these things. </p><p></p><p>This is very hard I know. Please do what you feel is best for ALL of you. Keep your eyes open for surprises with R. Report them. </p><p></p><p>We suspected nothing and he fooled tons of psychiatrists who loved him and thought he was normal, if a little slow. We think he was brilliant and obviously sicker than we or anyone guessed.</p><p></p><p>I don't think focusing on school will help you or your son. I think he is very sick and needs intensive help for that first.</p><p></p><p>He may or may not respond to help....but we have to try.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry. I get it. I wish I did not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 733238, member: 1550"] Just my thoughts Wilderness camps can be abusive. Many have been shut down. There have been deaths. Be very careful. Visit first. Look online for reviews. Check YouTube to see if anyone had a problem. They get money so of course the people who work there make these wilderness camps sound great. Also, as an observer, I have been on this board for over a decade and read many stories. Not one time...not once...has this wilderness camps worked for the long term. It can help for a few months or it can enrage the kids and make them worse and hateful toward the parents. That is one option I would never use. There are not a lot of regulations...they can pretty much do what they want. Residential is also hardly perfect. There is no perfect solution, no magic treatment or medication, for criminally inclined kids. Interestingly, I have read in a few psychiatric spots that the propensity to become a criminal is often inherited. As the mom of three adopted kids, this interested me and scared me but I only had one bad experience in that regard. Unfortunately, itiwas bad We did foster/adopt a child who was a nightmare although he was 11 when he joined us. In front of us he was nice to us and our pets and never touched fire. After we had CPS remove him for molesting my beloved adopted littles, the young ones finally admitted that he abused neighborhood animals and killed our dogs (we had never ever suspected HIM of this horrible crime...he acted like he just loved our pets in front of us) and we also found out that he had stolen a lighter from Walmart while with us and enjoyed setting mini fires to scare our littles. He hid his worst well. The littles were too scared of him to tell us. He convinced them he would set the house on fire and kill us all if they ever tattled on him for anything. He convinced them he was The Devil although we never taught them about a devil. He was a good talker and actor, both parts of his dangerousness. He was taken to a juvenile prison and diagnosed with Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder, which is like CD. A child who is leaning toward psychopathy. It took two years before he got a diagnosis that made sense. Your son may have attachment or conduct disorder because you don't know the entirety of what he does, as we did not with our child. Also, diagnoses are subjective, up to the interpretation of the professional. There are no blood tests to verify their being right or wrong. The DSM is not perfect and constantly changing. So by it's nature, it is not always correct. Was your son adopted right away? Did his birth mother take any drugs or drink while pregnant? In utero substance exposure affects our kids very much. Two of my adoptees, including the dangerous one, was drug exposed in utero. I think you need to watch R. carefully. Too often the mental health system misdignoses and gives wrong treatment to VERY disturbed and dangerous kids because these kids can put on a good face and because nobody wants to believe a child can be a criminal. As parents we sure don't. But our boy was. He didn't function in a family and we were allowed to give up custody. He would ave always been dangerous to the 3 and 5 year old. And to all of us. I believe he may have set the house on fire and killed more animals. When asked he had no idea why he did any of these things. This is very hard I know. Please do what you feel is best for ALL of you. Keep your eyes open for surprises with R. Report them. We suspected nothing and he fooled tons of psychiatrists who loved him and thought he was normal, if a little slow. We think he was brilliant and obviously sicker than we or anyone guessed. I don't think focusing on school will help you or your son. I think he is very sick and needs intensive help for that first. He may or may not respond to help....but we have to try. I am sorry. I get it. I wish I did not. [/QUOTE]
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