Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Detaching "WITH LOVE"?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 629280" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>From all I have read and studied, genetics plays the greatest role in whether a person becomes addicted or not, and how people cope---learned behaviors---is also a huge factor.</p><p></p><p>Here is one link:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://addictionsandrecovery.org/is-addiction-a-disease.htm" target="_blank">http://addictionsandrecovery.org/is-addiction-a-disease.htm</a></p><p></p><p>When I look at my family history on both sides, there are multiple addictions---food, alcohol, drugs and also mental illness.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child has the DNA he was born with, which includes the genetic predisposition to addiction from both sides of our family. I have also read a lot about triggers, which can have an influence about whether a person becomes addicted or not.</p><p></p><p>One of my sons is an addict, the other is not (at least right now). Could the other son become one? Very possibly, I believe. He will have to safeguard against that for the rest of his life. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child has anxiety and depression and has since he was little. We had a lot of boundaries set for him, and gave him a lot of love, affection and support over the years.</p><p></p><p>But he does not have good coping skills, and I believe he found a way to ease his troubles with drugs. </p><p></p><p>Also, an addict stops maturing when they start using. So, his normal development has stopped. That is why he makes immature decisions at age 25 (almost), also part of the addiction. His reasoning is not developed. </p><p></p><p>Also, another factor: as a person uses substances, his/her brain chemistry is changed. </p><p></p><p>I believe it is impossible---like most things in this world---to point definitively to a cause-and-effect relationship about addiction, at least. There are multiple variables at work here.</p><p></p><p>Would I have done some things differently and earlier with difficult child? Absolutely. I would have taken him for mental health treatment much earlier on. </p><p></p><p>Am I to blame or responsible for his addiction? No. I know I was/am a very good mother. Not perfect, of course, and I made mistakes along the way, but in no way did I cause this. </p><p></p><p>My son can change, but he will have to learn different ways of dealing with life. Life on life's terms. Until he is ready to do that, I believe little will change for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 629280, member: 17542"] From all I have read and studied, genetics plays the greatest role in whether a person becomes addicted or not, and how people cope---learned behaviors---is also a huge factor. Here is one link: [url]http://addictionsandrecovery.org/is-addiction-a-disease.htm[/url] When I look at my family history on both sides, there are multiple addictions---food, alcohol, drugs and also mental illness. My difficult child has the DNA he was born with, which includes the genetic predisposition to addiction from both sides of our family. I have also read a lot about triggers, which can have an influence about whether a person becomes addicted or not. One of my sons is an addict, the other is not (at least right now). Could the other son become one? Very possibly, I believe. He will have to safeguard against that for the rest of his life. My difficult child has anxiety and depression and has since he was little. We had a lot of boundaries set for him, and gave him a lot of love, affection and support over the years. But he does not have good coping skills, and I believe he found a way to ease his troubles with drugs. Also, an addict stops maturing when they start using. So, his normal development has stopped. That is why he makes immature decisions at age 25 (almost), also part of the addiction. His reasoning is not developed. Also, another factor: as a person uses substances, his/her brain chemistry is changed. I believe it is impossible---like most things in this world---to point definitively to a cause-and-effect relationship about addiction, at least. There are multiple variables at work here. Would I have done some things differently and earlier with difficult child? Absolutely. I would have taken him for mental health treatment much earlier on. Am I to blame or responsible for his addiction? No. I know I was/am a very good mother. Not perfect, of course, and I made mistakes along the way, but in no way did I cause this. My son can change, but he will have to learn different ways of dealing with life. Life on life's terms. Until he is ready to do that, I believe little will change for him. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Detaching "WITH LOVE"?
Top