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Detachment 101 Failure
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<blockquote data-quote="dlgallant" data-source="post: 49066" data-attributes="member: 3721"><p>I'm still in the early stages of learning detachment. My difficult child put me through hell for over a year, then we had a solid year and a half of normalcy. Then suddenly she spiraled out of control again. It came on so sudden that I wasn't prepared. Having buried my easy child son 8 years ago made me even more anxious about my daughter being on the streets. I didn't think I could survive burying another child. The grief over losing my son was so overwhelming that my body began to shut down. My kidneys began failing, my hair began to fall out. The entire time I knew I had 2 more children at home to take care of but it just never really sank in. While in the hospital a nurse told me I couldn't give up, I had 2 children still living that needed me. Hearing it from her some how clicked. I still grieve, but I focus on my son's life more than his death. </p><p></p><p>I still desparately want my daughter to get her life back, but after a good (and loving) kick in the pants from several board members I realized I couldn't spend my nights sobbing and my days worrying about what she was doing today. I was grieving myself to death. My daughter has made some good progress this last week and I've been there for what she needs when she's willing to do her part. I'm trying to learn that separating myself from her problems doesn't mean turning my back on her. She can come back into my home when she prooves she can live here without disrupting the entire house. She's lived on the streets for 2 months now and God willing she will continue to survive it and hopefully continue with the forward progress. </p><p></p><p>For me, I had to work through my grief before I could begin to detach. People go at different paces so don't beat yourself up over it. Just like my difficult child, sometimes I even go 2 steps forward, and 1 step back. There are so many people here to help you keep moving forward and I thank God every day he led me to this site.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dlgallant, post: 49066, member: 3721"] I'm still in the early stages of learning detachment. My difficult child put me through hell for over a year, then we had a solid year and a half of normalcy. Then suddenly she spiraled out of control again. It came on so sudden that I wasn't prepared. Having buried my easy child son 8 years ago made me even more anxious about my daughter being on the streets. I didn't think I could survive burying another child. The grief over losing my son was so overwhelming that my body began to shut down. My kidneys began failing, my hair began to fall out. The entire time I knew I had 2 more children at home to take care of but it just never really sank in. While in the hospital a nurse told me I couldn't give up, I had 2 children still living that needed me. Hearing it from her some how clicked. I still grieve, but I focus on my son's life more than his death. I still desparately want my daughter to get her life back, but after a good (and loving) kick in the pants from several board members I realized I couldn't spend my nights sobbing and my days worrying about what she was doing today. I was grieving myself to death. My daughter has made some good progress this last week and I've been there for what she needs when she's willing to do her part. I'm trying to learn that separating myself from her problems doesn't mean turning my back on her. She can come back into my home when she prooves she can live here without disrupting the entire house. She's lived on the streets for 2 months now and God willing she will continue to survive it and hopefully continue with the forward progress. For me, I had to work through my grief before I could begin to detach. People go at different paces so don't beat yourself up over it. Just like my difficult child, sometimes I even go 2 steps forward, and 1 step back. There are so many people here to help you keep moving forward and I thank God every day he led me to this site. [/QUOTE]
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