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Detachment? Is detaching mostly external/public?
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 490998" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>For me it's a long long road. I liken it to addiction recovery. Slowly (in my case very very slowly, lol) I have been able to distance myself from many of the most worrisome aspects of difficult child. The first part was the hardest for me. I don't know how long it took for me to accept that he would never become what we had every reason to believe he would be. That was the most "teary" stage for me because I just didn't want to accept that our easy child had evolved into a easy child/difficult child and then a difficult child. Then there were pretty consistent steps toward detachment. </p><p></p><p>I am lucky that we never had violence or confrontation. The two of us can spend hours and hours together shooting the breeze, laughing etc. husband and I actually miss him when he is not around <strong>but</strong> we are hoping and praying he can find life that is safe away from our home. I'm not sure whether it is easier when the relationship is volatile but I tend to think it may be a bit easier to separate from a difficult child who is really disruptive. Either way, you can't rush yourself to a degree in Detachment just like you can't sign up for college and fast forward to the diploma. Just do your best and eventually you'll find peace. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 490998, member: 35"] For me it's a long long road. I liken it to addiction recovery. Slowly (in my case very very slowly, lol) I have been able to distance myself from many of the most worrisome aspects of difficult child. The first part was the hardest for me. I don't know how long it took for me to accept that he would never become what we had every reason to believe he would be. That was the most "teary" stage for me because I just didn't want to accept that our easy child had evolved into a easy child/difficult child and then a difficult child. Then there were pretty consistent steps toward detachment. I am lucky that we never had violence or confrontation. The two of us can spend hours and hours together shooting the breeze, laughing etc. husband and I actually miss him when he is not around [B]but[/B] we are hoping and praying he can find life that is safe away from our home. I'm not sure whether it is easier when the relationship is volatile but I tend to think it may be a bit easier to separate from a difficult child who is really disruptive. Either way, you can't rush yourself to a degree in Detachment just like you can't sign up for college and fast forward to the diploma. Just do your best and eventually you'll find peace. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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Detachment? Is detaching mostly external/public?
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