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Family of Origin
Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 665089" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I do, too.</p><p></p><p>I was afraid, too.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am all about emotional flashback this morning Copa, but could that be what is happening to you? When you think about everything and how it was and what the end of it was...that is so much pain. There were crucial decisions to be made, and you made them. But when we are so used to questioning ourselves over everything to do with our families of origin, how could you not question yourself and then, begin accusing yourself, over and over again?</p><p></p><p>But there cannot be a different answer or a better way to have accomplished what was accomplished. You did the right things ~ all the right things. You remained flexible; you made other, seemingly better choices, but the situation was still difficult.</p><p></p><p>Look what happens to the way I think about myself over something as simple as my mom hanging up and my decision not to pretend I was okay with that.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. All those things were standing up. If we have been taught that whatever it is that happens, we should have done better, that is how we find ourselves second guessing and then, condemning whatever it is that we did. In reality, our choices were correct. There were bound to be consequences either way, because the family was dysfunctional. And our family members seem almost determined to keep it that way.</p><p></p><p>It makes sense that they would want all of us destroyed, that they would want us to blame ourselves, given that this is what they hurt into us while they were bringing us up.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>I am forever forgetting that this is how my mom wants things.</p><p></p><p>It is a hard concept to wrap my head around.</p><p></p><p>But you are very correct, Copa.</p><p></p><p>It's hard for me to believe that could be true. But most moms do not beat their kids in secret. Abusive moms are not so...I don't know. </p><p></p><p>Cunning.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ha! Copa. I have never known someone to be named "deviant" in such complementary terms.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> </p><p></p><p>You are right, Copa.</p><p></p><p>It's hard for me to believe, but you are right.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Yours was a lonely, frightening dream, Copa. Retracing your steps, regardless now, of the danger.</p><p></p><p>Distracted by unique and beautiful things; things you can appreciate and afford. </p><p></p><p>The handicapped man...what color are his eyes, Copa?</p><p></p><p>Is it a representation of M, do you think?</p><p></p><p>Your dream leaves me feeling sad, Copa. Each avenue was very wide. Each, dangerous in its own way.</p><p></p><p>The handicapped man...is it you, Copa?</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 665089, member: 17461"] I do, too. I was afraid, too. I am all about emotional flashback this morning Copa, but could that be what is happening to you? When you think about everything and how it was and what the end of it was...that is so much pain. There were crucial decisions to be made, and you made them. But when we are so used to questioning ourselves over everything to do with our families of origin, how could you not question yourself and then, begin accusing yourself, over and over again? But there cannot be a different answer or a better way to have accomplished what was accomplished. You did the right things ~ all the right things. You remained flexible; you made other, seemingly better choices, but the situation was still difficult. Look what happens to the way I think about myself over something as simple as my mom hanging up and my decision not to pretend I was okay with that. Yes. All those things were standing up. If we have been taught that whatever it is that happens, we should have done better, that is how we find ourselves second guessing and then, condemning whatever it is that we did. In reality, our choices were correct. There were bound to be consequences either way, because the family was dysfunctional. And our family members seem almost determined to keep it that way. It makes sense that they would want all of us destroyed, that they would want us to blame ourselves, given that this is what they hurt into us while they were bringing us up. Yes. I am forever forgetting that this is how my mom wants things. It is a hard concept to wrap my head around. But you are very correct, Copa. It's hard for me to believe that could be true. But most moms do not beat their kids in secret. Abusive moms are not so...I don't know. Cunning. Ha! Copa. I have never known someone to be named "deviant" in such complementary terms. :rofl: You are right, Copa. It's hard for me to believe, but you are right. *** Yours was a lonely, frightening dream, Copa. Retracing your steps, regardless now, of the danger. Distracted by unique and beautiful things; things you can appreciate and afford. The handicapped man...what color are his eyes, Copa? Is it a representation of M, do you think? Your dream leaves me feeling sad, Copa. Each avenue was very wide. Each, dangerous in its own way. The handicapped man...is it you, Copa? Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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