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Did You Ever Dream........
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 81463" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>I agree with gg, you shouldn't be doing all these things for everyone. I know it's very difficult to say no, but you can do it. How about public transportation for them getting back and forth to work. You shouldn't be running a taxi service around your life. </p><p></p><p>I know with everything going on in my life with my h right now, I have gotten much better about what I need and learning to let others fend for themselves. I'm not doing it selfishly, but if it's something I really can't handle that someone is expecting from me, I tell them honestly I can't do it.</p><p></p><p>My sister is a great example. Last week when my h and I had an appointment to see the lawyer in regards to a possible legal seperation, my sister in law who is an alcoholic kept falling off the wagon and expecting me to be there at the drop of a hat to pick her up and fix her. I know from my sons own addiction that I cannot do this for her and with what I was going through, I could not handle the stress of being expected to fix someone else when I couldn't fix myself. She started calling me almost everyday, admitting that she drank, her husband took her car keys and then just telling me she needed me to pick her up at such and such a time to take her to pay her mortgage, drop her off at work, pick her up at work, etc. I didn't do it. A few times I just didn't return her calls, or I explained to her that I love her, but I have so much going on my life right now to handle, that I couldn't possibly be responsible for anyone else right now. She understand and hasn't asked me since. Now she calls and asks how I'm doing. </p><p></p><p>It's not an easy thing to do. I was never good at standing up for myself and my needs, but I'm getting better at it. </p><p></p><p>Start thinking of what you need and then try and think of a plan that might help you get there. Even if it's little things to start with like helping Travis find other arrangements to work and back, even if it's just one way. Maybe he's not the best one to start with, but you get what I'm trying to say. Don't just get stuck in this and feel it's your life forever. Start thinking about how you can turn it around and have a life of your own that you deserve.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 81463, member: 2442"] I agree with gg, you shouldn't be doing all these things for everyone. I know it's very difficult to say no, but you can do it. How about public transportation for them getting back and forth to work. You shouldn't be running a taxi service around your life. I know with everything going on in my life with my h right now, I have gotten much better about what I need and learning to let others fend for themselves. I'm not doing it selfishly, but if it's something I really can't handle that someone is expecting from me, I tell them honestly I can't do it. My sister is a great example. Last week when my h and I had an appointment to see the lawyer in regards to a possible legal seperation, my sister in law who is an alcoholic kept falling off the wagon and expecting me to be there at the drop of a hat to pick her up and fix her. I know from my sons own addiction that I cannot do this for her and with what I was going through, I could not handle the stress of being expected to fix someone else when I couldn't fix myself. She started calling me almost everyday, admitting that she drank, her husband took her car keys and then just telling me she needed me to pick her up at such and such a time to take her to pay her mortgage, drop her off at work, pick her up at work, etc. I didn't do it. A few times I just didn't return her calls, or I explained to her that I love her, but I have so much going on my life right now to handle, that I couldn't possibly be responsible for anyone else right now. She understand and hasn't asked me since. Now she calls and asks how I'm doing. It's not an easy thing to do. I was never good at standing up for myself and my needs, but I'm getting better at it. Start thinking of what you need and then try and think of a plan that might help you get there. Even if it's little things to start with like helping Travis find other arrangements to work and back, even if it's just one way. Maybe he's not the best one to start with, but you get what I'm trying to say. Don't just get stuck in this and feel it's your life forever. Start thinking about how you can turn it around and have a life of your own that you deserve. [/QUOTE]
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