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Substance Abuse
Difficult brother abuses drugs
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 735043" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome. I'm so sorry you have to struggle with your brothers addiction. At 16 years old you should be enjoying your childhood not dealing with substance abuse. There is an article at the bottom of my post here on detachment, at some point if it feels right, you may want to print it out and give it to your mother.</p><p></p><p>You may want to check in your state what the age is for a child to choose which parent they want to live with. Legally you may have options if you want to live with your Dad and he is in agreement. I live in California and the age here is 14. You can google it and find out what your options are.</p><p></p><p>Substance abuse is a family affair, everyone in the family system suffers. Unfortunately it's usually the parents who must change and repair the situation thru strong, unbreakable boundaries, saying no and taking the power away from the person using. It's not unusual for parents to put their time into the troubled kid and not be able to see the reality of what that does to the other kids in the family. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Your mother is caught in what we call the FOG, fear, obligation and guilt. It's very difficult to be able to see out of that FOG. Unfortunately though, you are really suffering in it.</p><p></p><p>Check into the legalities of you being able to choose which parent you can live with at your age.</p><p>Here's a link to start with for some basic info:</p><p><a href="https://info.legalzoom.com/can-child-decide-live-other-divorced-parent-washington-state-law-24721.html" target="_blank">When Can a Child Decide to Live With the Other Divorced Parent by Washington State Law?</a></p><p></p><p>Talk to your Dad about what you're going thru and if he agrees with you living with him, look into the legalities of it. You matter. This is not a healthy way for you to live. Hang in there, we'll do our best to offer you support and options. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 735043, member: 13542"] Welcome. I'm so sorry you have to struggle with your brothers addiction. At 16 years old you should be enjoying your childhood not dealing with substance abuse. There is an article at the bottom of my post here on detachment, at some point if it feels right, you may want to print it out and give it to your mother. You may want to check in your state what the age is for a child to choose which parent they want to live with. Legally you may have options if you want to live with your Dad and he is in agreement. I live in California and the age here is 14. You can google it and find out what your options are. Substance abuse is a family affair, everyone in the family system suffers. Unfortunately it's usually the parents who must change and repair the situation thru strong, unbreakable boundaries, saying no and taking the power away from the person using. It's not unusual for parents to put their time into the troubled kid and not be able to see the reality of what that does to the other kids in the family. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Your mother is caught in what we call the FOG, fear, obligation and guilt. It's very difficult to be able to see out of that FOG. Unfortunately though, you are really suffering in it. Check into the legalities of you being able to choose which parent you can live with at your age. Here's a link to start with for some basic info: [URL='https://info.legalzoom.com/can-child-decide-live-other-divorced-parent-washington-state-law-24721.html']When Can a Child Decide to Live With the Other Divorced Parent by Washington State Law?[/URL] Talk to your Dad about what you're going thru and if he agrees with you living with him, look into the legalities of it. You matter. This is not a healthy way for you to live. Hang in there, we'll do our best to offer you support and options. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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Difficult brother abuses drugs
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