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difficult child 1's goal in life?
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 480005" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Words don't cut it.</p><p>You can't counter his extreme on one hand, with a different extreme on the other.</p><p></p><p>This can be really hard to do... but the best esteem booster there is, is to be a valued, contributing member of the family.</p><p>(no ROFL icons here)</p><p></p><p>It can be stupid little stuff, but its gotta be stuff that the others *can't* do... not as in "not allowed", but as in actually *can't*.</p><p></p><p>Example 1: If he's the tallest... he's the one who has to take down - and put back up - all the stuff on those high kitchen shelves when you need access. "Oh tall one, I need those long arms of yours..."</p><p></p><p>Example 2: If he's strong and coordinated... give him all the "heavy lifting" jobs... carrying in the groceries, hauling the garbage bin to the curb, retrieving the bags of flour and sugar from the bottom shelves at the store, etc. "Oh strong one, where are you..."</p><p></p><p>(forgive me for using he for all of these... the individual in question on this thread is a he...)</p><p></p><p>Example 3: If he's the big musical talent in the family, then he has to get up before the rest of the kids, and wake them up with his... trumpet/tuba/sax/drumset... (from the living room - not in their faces!)</p><p></p><p>You see the trend? Make use of whatever little thing might set him apart... and then use it consistently. </p><p></p><p>Yes, this is Johnny... My he's getting tall. You know, he's the greatest help in the kitchen now that he's tall - I don't need to grab the stepstool anymore. (Watch his shoulders straighten... its fair bragging rights... tallest in HIS family, not in the world!)</p><p></p><p>If he's really shy, you have to praise him directly rather than indirectly. But he'll get the point. "You don't know how you managed without him being so capable".</p><p></p><p>(yes, we've actually had to do this, and it actually has impact - not total solution, but positive impact)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 480005, member: 11791"] Words don't cut it. You can't counter his extreme on one hand, with a different extreme on the other. This can be really hard to do... but the best esteem booster there is, is to be a valued, contributing member of the family. (no ROFL icons here) It can be stupid little stuff, but its gotta be stuff that the others *can't* do... not as in "not allowed", but as in actually *can't*. Example 1: If he's the tallest... he's the one who has to take down - and put back up - all the stuff on those high kitchen shelves when you need access. "Oh tall one, I need those long arms of yours..." Example 2: If he's strong and coordinated... give him all the "heavy lifting" jobs... carrying in the groceries, hauling the garbage bin to the curb, retrieving the bags of flour and sugar from the bottom shelves at the store, etc. "Oh strong one, where are you..." (forgive me for using he for all of these... the individual in question on this thread is a he...) Example 3: If he's the big musical talent in the family, then he has to get up before the rest of the kids, and wake them up with his... trumpet/tuba/sax/drumset... (from the living room - not in their faces!) You see the trend? Make use of whatever little thing might set him apart... and then use it consistently. Yes, this is Johnny... My he's getting tall. You know, he's the greatest help in the kitchen now that he's tall - I don't need to grab the stepstool anymore. (Watch his shoulders straighten... its fair bragging rights... tallest in HIS family, not in the world!) If he's really shy, you have to praise him directly rather than indirectly. But he'll get the point. "You don't know how you managed without him being so capable". (yes, we've actually had to do this, and it actually has impact - not total solution, but positive impact) [/QUOTE]
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