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difficult child and "her" car
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 639966" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>MWM: You are right, it is very maladaptive coping mechanism, but of course severity and explosiveness of it makes a difference on how maladaptive it is. With your 37 it seems to be very explosive and that is why it is also very harmful for him and even scary to you and others around him. With my subordinate it is mostly just irritating, because the real explosiveness is not there, not at work at least.</p><p></p><p>I have known quite a many people who do have this behavioural model and how maladaptive it is of course really depends from explosiveness of it. And in my experience for most it tends to be more explosive and worse when they are still at their teens or early twenties, and they learn to deal little better when they mature. Doesn't happen to all, of course. I also think that very mild case of this is very common and typical (or maybe I just think so, because I too tend to have it at times. I mean I have kicked a car tire and gone through all the swear words I know when my car has left me on the side of the road at the very bad time and so on. I'm actually rather self-controlled and calm person, but getting angry first, then actually starting to figure out how to solve a problem after calming down is something I do at times. I just don't usually let my anger out much.) Some people just get more stuck to the panic mode, and also will wheel that panic worse and worse, instead of getting more smoothly to problem solving mode. And of course people react to panicky feelings differently, some get angry, some get physical symptoms, some get weepy and desperate and so on. </p><p></p><p>It takes some maturity and personal growth to recognise your own models and then maybe control and develop them to more efficient ones. And for some those models are so severe or so dysfunctional, that changing them can be really difficult and need a lot of professional help. But of course Dstc's daughter is still very young and in the beginning of her road to really maturity, so I would be hopeful that she actually will develop more appropriate coping mechanism, or lessen the negativity of current ones, when she matures a bit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 639966, member: 14557"] MWM: You are right, it is very maladaptive coping mechanism, but of course severity and explosiveness of it makes a difference on how maladaptive it is. With your 37 it seems to be very explosive and that is why it is also very harmful for him and even scary to you and others around him. With my subordinate it is mostly just irritating, because the real explosiveness is not there, not at work at least. I have known quite a many people who do have this behavioural model and how maladaptive it is of course really depends from explosiveness of it. And in my experience for most it tends to be more explosive and worse when they are still at their teens or early twenties, and they learn to deal little better when they mature. Doesn't happen to all, of course. I also think that very mild case of this is very common and typical (or maybe I just think so, because I too tend to have it at times. I mean I have kicked a car tire and gone through all the swear words I know when my car has left me on the side of the road at the very bad time and so on. I'm actually rather self-controlled and calm person, but getting angry first, then actually starting to figure out how to solve a problem after calming down is something I do at times. I just don't usually let my anger out much.) Some people just get more stuck to the panic mode, and also will wheel that panic worse and worse, instead of getting more smoothly to problem solving mode. And of course people react to panicky feelings differently, some get angry, some get physical symptoms, some get weepy and desperate and so on. It takes some maturity and personal growth to recognise your own models and then maybe control and develop them to more efficient ones. And for some those models are so severe or so dysfunctional, that changing them can be really difficult and need a lot of professional help. But of course Dstc's daughter is still very young and in the beginning of her road to really maturity, so I would be hopeful that she actually will develop more appropriate coping mechanism, or lessen the negativity of current ones, when she matures a bit. [/QUOTE]
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