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Difficult child and stepchildren
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 742693" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree with a lot of what JustForToday says. But I see both sides...two people who married each other and didnt think of maybe the problems of mixing all those kids into a family and the mother to boot. There are four of the stepkids and two of yours and your hub no doubt loves his kids more thsn yours, plus your boy has special needs. The mother is nervous and not without reason. I also think ex is deliberately stirring the pot. Was the divorce contentious on her part?</p><p></p><p>So many dynamics and issues.</p><p></p><p>I disagree that kids dont or cant understand special needs. My now 25 year old son has high functioning autism and his sister adores him, always did,b and is always posting about understanding autism on social media. But my son was never violent. However she plus the kids when he went to school understood him.</p><p></p><p>Having said that, the step kids may be inwardly angry that they have to interact with such a difficult stepbrother and now a half sister who is young, cute, the only girl and possibly autistic. They may not have even wanted their dad to remarry. This is common snd kids can be passive aggressive when unhappy about a situation. I had to really prepare my kids before I married my spouse and he didnt even have any kids. </p><p></p><p>I think the only way that this family can survive longterm is therapy for all, including ex. If that is not going to happen, marital therapy probably HAS to happen. This is a very VERY complex situation with many players and a very difficlt child with a mother who will put her .02 in all the time and threaten your husband. If her kids get hurt this will only get worse. And she has cause to be upset. Sadly. I am NOT blaming your son for his special needs.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion for this group to come together as a family, some therapy will probably be necessary. If all you can manage is marital counseling, go for it.</p><p>Something has to give. </p><p></p><p>I honestly wish you all the best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 742693, member: 1550"] I agree with a lot of what JustForToday says. But I see both sides...two people who married each other and didnt think of maybe the problems of mixing all those kids into a family and the mother to boot. There are four of the stepkids and two of yours and your hub no doubt loves his kids more thsn yours, plus your boy has special needs. The mother is nervous and not without reason. I also think ex is deliberately stirring the pot. Was the divorce contentious on her part? So many dynamics and issues. I disagree that kids dont or cant understand special needs. My now 25 year old son has high functioning autism and his sister adores him, always did,b and is always posting about understanding autism on social media. But my son was never violent. However she plus the kids when he went to school understood him. Having said that, the step kids may be inwardly angry that they have to interact with such a difficult stepbrother and now a half sister who is young, cute, the only girl and possibly autistic. They may not have even wanted their dad to remarry. This is common snd kids can be passive aggressive when unhappy about a situation. I had to really prepare my kids before I married my spouse and he didnt even have any kids. I think the only way that this family can survive longterm is therapy for all, including ex. If that is not going to happen, marital therapy probably HAS to happen. This is a very VERY complex situation with many players and a very difficlt child with a mother who will put her .02 in all the time and threaten your husband. If her kids get hurt this will only get worse. And she has cause to be upset. Sadly. I am NOT blaming your son for his special needs. in my opinion for this group to come together as a family, some therapy will probably be necessary. If all you can manage is marital counseling, go for it. Something has to give. I honestly wish you all the best. [/QUOTE]
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