Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
difficult child back on drugs again, very worried and need advice
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 504940" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>Hi PV - My son is only 16, so take that into consideration when you hear my opinion. I think there are two issues here. The first is his drug use and relapse. If you want to speak to some non-using friends and maybe ask them to stage their own informal intervention, even if it doesn't work, I don't think it's ever bad for people to point out to them that they are concerned because they see the drugs taking hold again. The second and just as important issue is his behavior in your home and weather or not you and husband are OK with him living under your roof while behaving this way. I have not walked in your shoes, but I have come close. When my son was 14, his bahavior in our house was so completely unacceptable (due to pot dependance) that we could not keep him in our home. The process to get him somewhere that could help him took time. After trying EVERYTHING to stop him , we finally had to "let the chips fall" knowing that his use and behavior would quickly lead to big problems. He did get arrested and expelled from school, which we knew would happen, and we just followed the process one step at a time. He went to a boarding school, got in trouble there, went to Wilderness, and now is back at boarding school. The bottom line was that we felt like his behavior was so out of control that we could not HAVE him at home. HE had too much control in our home. For the sake of his 12 year old sister, my husband and I and him, we had to get him out of the house to get well. When he was home, he only saw US and OUR RULES as the problem. When he went to other environments and struggled there, he began to see that HIS CHOICES were the problem and that WE were actually trying to help him. I know it's hard, but from the sounds of your report, I doubt his behavior will change while he's home, why should it? He doesn't seem to care. You're doing EVERYTHING you can for him, he just doesn't care. I like the previous poster's suggestion, pack the bag, give him 2 choices - "We can't live this way any more. The rules here are no drugs and you go to school. If you are not willing to do those things, you cannot live here anymore. You are 18 and old enough to make your own choices." He may even like being "empowerred" to HAVE a choice. He may leave, but if he does, he may soon find out that YOU are not the problem. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 504940, member: 12490"] Hi PV - My son is only 16, so take that into consideration when you hear my opinion. I think there are two issues here. The first is his drug use and relapse. If you want to speak to some non-using friends and maybe ask them to stage their own informal intervention, even if it doesn't work, I don't think it's ever bad for people to point out to them that they are concerned because they see the drugs taking hold again. The second and just as important issue is his behavior in your home and weather or not you and husband are OK with him living under your roof while behaving this way. I have not walked in your shoes, but I have come close. When my son was 14, his bahavior in our house was so completely unacceptable (due to pot dependance) that we could not keep him in our home. The process to get him somewhere that could help him took time. After trying EVERYTHING to stop him , we finally had to "let the chips fall" knowing that his use and behavior would quickly lead to big problems. He did get arrested and expelled from school, which we knew would happen, and we just followed the process one step at a time. He went to a boarding school, got in trouble there, went to Wilderness, and now is back at boarding school. The bottom line was that we felt like his behavior was so out of control that we could not HAVE him at home. HE had too much control in our home. For the sake of his 12 year old sister, my husband and I and him, we had to get him out of the house to get well. When he was home, he only saw US and OUR RULES as the problem. When he went to other environments and struggled there, he began to see that HIS CHOICES were the problem and that WE were actually trying to help him. I know it's hard, but from the sounds of your report, I doubt his behavior will change while he's home, why should it? He doesn't seem to care. You're doing EVERYTHING you can for him, he just doesn't care. I like the previous poster's suggestion, pack the bag, give him 2 choices - "We can't live this way any more. The rules here are no drugs and you go to school. If you are not willing to do those things, you cannot live here anymore. You are 18 and old enough to make your own choices." He may even like being "empowerred" to HAVE a choice. He may leave, but if he does, he may soon find out that YOU are not the problem. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
difficult child back on drugs again, very worried and need advice
Top