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difficult child draining my life force
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<blockquote data-quote="amelia" data-source="post: 515992" data-attributes="member: 14169"><p>My difficult child and I are close, but I don't know at this point if that is good or bad. She comes to me with all her anxieties, just pulls on me, and no answer or response I give is good enough. She says I am delusional when I tell her she is capable. She says I just won't admit how stupid she is. She says she can't reason or figure things out and she wants an IQ test to prove to me how stupid she is. </p><p></p><p>She has been in therapy for abuse/PTSD. The last therapist she went to specialized in it, wrote books on it, and gave conferences world wide on emotional abuse. It did not help my difficult child at all, she stopped going in the fall. She has to want to be better for the therapy to help, and after 18 years of therapy I give up. Me and my bank account (or what's left of it) can't take any more. I think she gets something out of "punishing" me for letting her father near her, I think she is very angry at me, and she gets something out of being messed up. </p><p></p><p>We don't live in a rural area, we live in a large suburb of NY. There were 850 kids in her HS graduating class. The public transportation is a joke, you cannot survive here without a car. Her job is 6 miles from our house and to get there by bus it would take 2 hrs and 15 minutes and 3 transfers. There is transportation for the disabled, for $1.00 a ride. They will give you a 4 hour window where they guarantee they will get you to your destination, up to 2 hours before you need to be there and up to 2 hours after you need to be there. She used them for a few weeks with her summer job. She almost got fired for being late 5 times in 2 weeks. Finally my husband made arrangements with his job so he could get her there in the morning on time.</p><p></p><p>I am still at a loss as to what I can or should do for her. There is no easy answer and I just feel so stressed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="amelia, post: 515992, member: 14169"] My difficult child and I are close, but I don't know at this point if that is good or bad. She comes to me with all her anxieties, just pulls on me, and no answer or response I give is good enough. She says I am delusional when I tell her she is capable. She says I just won't admit how stupid she is. She says she can't reason or figure things out and she wants an IQ test to prove to me how stupid she is. She has been in therapy for abuse/PTSD. The last therapist she went to specialized in it, wrote books on it, and gave conferences world wide on emotional abuse. It did not help my difficult child at all, she stopped going in the fall. She has to want to be better for the therapy to help, and after 18 years of therapy I give up. Me and my bank account (or what's left of it) can't take any more. I think she gets something out of "punishing" me for letting her father near her, I think she is very angry at me, and she gets something out of being messed up. We don't live in a rural area, we live in a large suburb of NY. There were 850 kids in her HS graduating class. The public transportation is a joke, you cannot survive here without a car. Her job is 6 miles from our house and to get there by bus it would take 2 hrs and 15 minutes and 3 transfers. There is transportation for the disabled, for $1.00 a ride. They will give you a 4 hour window where they guarantee they will get you to your destination, up to 2 hours before you need to be there and up to 2 hours after you need to be there. She used them for a few weeks with her summer job. She almost got fired for being late 5 times in 2 weeks. Finally my husband made arrangements with his job so he could get her there in the morning on time. I am still at a loss as to what I can or should do for her. There is no easy answer and I just feel so stressed. [/QUOTE]
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