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difficult child has now sold (ebay) all the gifts he received from us last year...
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 487434"><p>MM- I have no idea how he is doing in school or even if he is attending classes. He claims to be enrolled and that's all I have to go on. Because of FERPA, I can't see his grades or even confirm his status with the school. I am not paying his tuition so I have no moral ground to "see his grades." If we decide to pay next semester's tuition, access to his grades will be a condition of doing so.</p><p></p><p>I know he is in a pinch financially, he has a pt min wage job in a fast food place. He's worked his "summer" job while home over Halloween weekend and TGiving which pays well, but that's only 40 hours or so. We cut him off just days before he went back to school-so he didn't have advance notice of his new financial needs or the savings cushion to meet them. He is bound to that lease which is direct debit and to his tuition, so while yes - some of the money may be going to drugs, I have to assume at least some is going to rent, food, etc. The school does not provide laptops and computer access in the labs is not guaranteed. He does need the laptop for his classes and his current laptop is Windows XP and woefully low on memory for current applications. As always, they need the brand new Office 2010 to collaborate and complete assignments. (my HS'ers too, makes me batty)</p><p></p><p>I think I am fretting because part of me wants to hope that he IS feeling the pinch and that he may turn around because of it. That was the hope in cutting him off. Yet, I need not to be naive. Gotcha, 100%</p><p></p><p>Did I mention that patience is not my strong suit? I really wish I knew how this was going to unfold. He's at the tipping point, I want him to tip to the "RIGHT" side - away from the partying.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 487434"] MM- I have no idea how he is doing in school or even if he is attending classes. He claims to be enrolled and that's all I have to go on. Because of FERPA, I can't see his grades or even confirm his status with the school. I am not paying his tuition so I have no moral ground to "see his grades." If we decide to pay next semester's tuition, access to his grades will be a condition of doing so. I know he is in a pinch financially, he has a pt min wage job in a fast food place. He's worked his "summer" job while home over Halloween weekend and TGiving which pays well, but that's only 40 hours or so. We cut him off just days before he went back to school-so he didn't have advance notice of his new financial needs or the savings cushion to meet them. He is bound to that lease which is direct debit and to his tuition, so while yes - some of the money may be going to drugs, I have to assume at least some is going to rent, food, etc. The school does not provide laptops and computer access in the labs is not guaranteed. He does need the laptop for his classes and his current laptop is Windows XP and woefully low on memory for current applications. As always, they need the brand new Office 2010 to collaborate and complete assignments. (my HS'ers too, makes me batty) I think I am fretting because part of me wants to hope that he IS feeling the pinch and that he may turn around because of it. That was the hope in cutting him off. Yet, I need not to be naive. Gotcha, 100% Did I mention that patience is not my strong suit? I really wish I knew how this was going to unfold. He's at the tipping point, I want him to tip to the "RIGHT" side - away from the partying. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child has now sold (ebay) all the gifts he received from us last year...
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