Exactly. You can't. He will learn when he's ready to, and no one else can "make" him ready. But it sounds like he is at least taking responsibility for what happened, not trying to blame it on a parole officer out to get him or somebody "making" him or whatever. So at least there is that, some accountability. It's a start, to hopefully lead to the conclusion that HE controls the damage by quitting. My difficult child is 21. The day he turned legal drinking age he was in rehab for alcohol. I do see how hard it must be, to be that young and realize that you can't just *have a drink* or smoke a little pot or whatever most 20-somethings do without having your world crash in. I'm sure most or all of us here have some great and funny stories about dumb things we did when we were in our early 20s and had a buzz on. Fortunately we came through it okay. That's not true for our difficult children. Acknowledging addiction is hard, and having to do so when you're so young and don't know your hind end from a hole in the ground anyway...I'm not making excuses, just saying it must be a very difficult thing to confront. Anyway, I'm kinda rambling. Sending you peaceful thoughts today.
And COM, I was so happy to read about your visit with your difficult child yesterday!
