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Difficult Child taking advantage of wife
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<blockquote data-quote="DoneDad" data-source="post: 677991" data-attributes="member: 17244"><p>I called a child care place that's 4 minutes from our house - we're going to go by there today. Turns out Difficult Child had visited Childcare Resource center and is eligible for subsidized childcare - she just never followed up on it, so she had a list of providers (in a pile of trash). I got the list and called. This is something we've been trying to get Difficult Child to do for months, and it took me two minutes to do it myself. </p><p></p><p>Talk about hitting bottom - I'm trying to figure out what to do. Difficult Child is fine with the status quo - we support her and her baby, she works part time for spending money and parties. Wife goes along with it even though it is killing her. I'm basically enabling both of them even though I don't want to be. Basically we have no power because wife won't let Difficult Child leave with the baby. We've asked her to pay rent. She doesn't. The consequence is - nothing. We nag her about this or that - she blows it off. She lies to us about when she's working. She comes home drunk. She drives around in friend's car with baby and no car seat, we see her and she lies about it. She doesn't lift a finger to help around the house. The sink is full of her dirty dishes just waiting for me to do them all the time. When she is home with the baby, she's on her phone and he's crying because she's ignoring him. We're nervous about even going out of the house to church because she might invite a random guy over while we're gone. (Our plans for retirement were to travel, but that is definitely not happening.)</p><p></p><p>I hate to even think about it, but at some point I just might be detaching from Difficult Child, wife, and their whole dysfunctional dance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DoneDad, post: 677991, member: 17244"] I called a child care place that's 4 minutes from our house - we're going to go by there today. Turns out Difficult Child had visited Childcare Resource center and is eligible for subsidized childcare - she just never followed up on it, so she had a list of providers (in a pile of trash). I got the list and called. This is something we've been trying to get Difficult Child to do for months, and it took me two minutes to do it myself. Talk about hitting bottom - I'm trying to figure out what to do. Difficult Child is fine with the status quo - we support her and her baby, she works part time for spending money and parties. Wife goes along with it even though it is killing her. I'm basically enabling both of them even though I don't want to be. Basically we have no power because wife won't let Difficult Child leave with the baby. We've asked her to pay rent. She doesn't. The consequence is - nothing. We nag her about this or that - she blows it off. She lies to us about when she's working. She comes home drunk. She drives around in friend's car with baby and no car seat, we see her and she lies about it. She doesn't lift a finger to help around the house. The sink is full of her dirty dishes just waiting for me to do them all the time. When she is home with the baby, she's on her phone and he's crying because she's ignoring him. We're nervous about even going out of the house to church because she might invite a random guy over while we're gone. (Our plans for retirement were to travel, but that is definitely not happening.) I hate to even think about it, but at some point I just might be detaching from Difficult Child, wife, and their whole dysfunctional dance. [/QUOTE]
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