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difficult children driven by money?
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 51836" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Loth, having been through each and every sort of behavior mod system out there, I can say that all work for a while and none seem to work forever until the child/adult decides to be involved.</p><p>I would say do what works. Hopefully the joy she has at her success will prode her on to master whatever skill she needs to master.</p><p>I dangled carrots of some sort to achieve certain goals. I offer to pay for chores now that difficult child doesn't live here but the mindset of the difficult child will change when they get it. In the meantime, she has schoolwork to do in order to not feel left behind from her peers. I would have paid difficult child, stood on my head or given him whatever if I could have gotten him to master his schoolwork fundamentals back in grade school. Truthfully at that age money didn't hold value for him. It's only since he was 18 or 19 that he made the connection.</p><p></p><p>There really are two issues for your little difficult child. Mastering schoolwork and doing what her peers are doing and then teaching how to self motivate, limit her own frustration and to feel self pride in accomplishment. Reminding yourself and difficult child of the goals helps to focus. Whatever it takes works ok for me. I have no shame any more. I would do the chicken dance in public(not a pretty site) to get difficult child to master skills for a functional life so rewarding difficult child with money is a no brainer for me. Money without the life lessons is a waste of your money though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 51836, member: 3"] Loth, having been through each and every sort of behavior mod system out there, I can say that all work for a while and none seem to work forever until the child/adult decides to be involved. I would say do what works. Hopefully the joy she has at her success will prode her on to master whatever skill she needs to master. I dangled carrots of some sort to achieve certain goals. I offer to pay for chores now that difficult child doesn't live here but the mindset of the difficult child will change when they get it. In the meantime, she has schoolwork to do in order to not feel left behind from her peers. I would have paid difficult child, stood on my head or given him whatever if I could have gotten him to master his schoolwork fundamentals back in grade school. Truthfully at that age money didn't hold value for him. It's only since he was 18 or 19 that he made the connection. There really are two issues for your little difficult child. Mastering schoolwork and doing what her peers are doing and then teaching how to self motivate, limit her own frustration and to feel self pride in accomplishment. Reminding yourself and difficult child of the goals helps to focus. Whatever it takes works ok for me. I have no shame any more. I would do the chicken dance in public(not a pretty site) to get difficult child to master skills for a functional life so rewarding difficult child with money is a no brainer for me. Money without the life lessons is a waste of your money though. [/QUOTE]
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