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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 703370" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>That happened with my son, too. When I had had enough and did not call him. Was glad he left my town. Would not say more than 2 words if he called me was when he changed somewhat towards me.</p><p></p><p>He decided he would do the little bit it required in order to have somebody in his life. He has force everybody else except us to withdraw from him.</p><p></p><p>The problem now is somewhat different. He wants to be near us for the support we offer, and because his life is safer and more secure and comfortable near us. </p><p></p><p>But the problem is he wants this, on his own terms, which is his rules, not ours. We surrendered for a while. (I know.) And now that we are sticking up for ourselves life is a living hell.</p><p></p><p>He is not being aggressive, but passive aggressive. Today we got him out of our house, into a property we own. We have set very, very firm conditions. Few but non-negotiable. No marijuana or other drug; no people invited in the space; he must be productive.</p><p></p><p>I have imposed these conditions too (he pays no rent and the only reason for us that he be in any space of ours, is to better his life. I question, really, if I have the right to impose the following, but who wants to see their child die, from poor judgment about medical conditions and their treatment:</p><p></p><p>Be in therapy and obtain medical treatment for a chronic illness.</p><p></p><p>I am unsure if I should make it a condition that he negotiate payment plans on his debts.</p><p></p><p>I have told him over and over again: you are not here near be because I operate either a homeless shelter or a residential treatment program. You are here to work to make your life better.</p><p></p><p>Except it all gets back to: you can take a horse to water....</p><p></p><p>I think you are doing great. (And your kids seem to be doing good, too.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 703370, member: 18958"] That happened with my son, too. When I had had enough and did not call him. Was glad he left my town. Would not say more than 2 words if he called me was when he changed somewhat towards me. He decided he would do the little bit it required in order to have somebody in his life. He has force everybody else except us to withdraw from him. The problem now is somewhat different. He wants to be near us for the support we offer, and because his life is safer and more secure and comfortable near us. But the problem is he wants this, on his own terms, which is his rules, not ours. We surrendered for a while. (I know.) And now that we are sticking up for ourselves life is a living hell. He is not being aggressive, but passive aggressive. Today we got him out of our house, into a property we own. We have set very, very firm conditions. Few but non-negotiable. No marijuana or other drug; no people invited in the space; he must be productive. I have imposed these conditions too (he pays no rent and the only reason for us that he be in any space of ours, is to better his life. I question, really, if I have the right to impose the following, but who wants to see their child die, from poor judgment about medical conditions and their treatment: Be in therapy and obtain medical treatment for a chronic illness. I am unsure if I should make it a condition that he negotiate payment plans on his debts. I have told him over and over again: you are not here near be because I operate either a homeless shelter or a residential treatment program. You are here to work to make your life better. Except it all gets back to: you can take a horse to water.... I think you are doing great. (And your kids seem to be doing good, too.) [/QUOTE]
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