Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Dilemma re ex-husband
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 564485" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>I have little to add to what the others have told you: Please seek out a domestic violence center for support and assistance, seek out cancer center for support and assistance as well (hospice or what ever services they can help you with or point you to - financial, etc), a therapist of psychiatrist (there are many that are free or sliding scale if you need that). DO NOT, NOT go back with him, remarry him or join your finances! As they've said. "warning danger Will Robinson!" More then enough red flags to me as well. He is emotionally and psychologically abusing you and those scars and damage last far longer then any phyiscal damage can do (not making less of that either, just a comparison). </p><p></p><p>I want to come at this a little differently with a story from my life. In 1999 (?) my exh had cancer. We had been together 12 hellish years only I had told NO ONE! My family didn't really even know and we were pretty close at the time and they should have been able to tell. They just thought he was an a** and didn't like him, not what was going on. He was emotionally and psychologically abusing me and oldest difficult child and at times physically abusing us (though not a lot). I'm fortunate compared to many as far as that is concerned. He attempted to try and isolate us for the most part. I'm not going into more detail on this, just a brief synopsis.</p><p></p><p>When he had the cancer I still felt strongly devoted to him and stood by him and fought for him against doctors who did nothing. I cared for him through it as well and afterwards. Though it was afterwards that had me hit my breaking point finally. My oldest difficult child had been begging me for 1 year to leave him but I couldn't do it. I had a newborn that I was caring for at the height of his cancer surgery and care plus going to work AND oldest difficult child was in major crisis. If that wasn't a lot, I don't know what is? I tell you this to let you know....you CAN do this!!! YOU CAN! I know it seems like a lot is on your plate right now but you are realizing the situation you are in and don't want to go back to it. What you need is the support to get you through it, the resources to assist you in doing so. YOU CAN DO THIS!</p><p></p><p>I left with 3 young children after 13 years with all that was going on above and you can too! Everyone here has given you answers and directions to go for help. PLEASE use them. It takes no more effort to seek them out and a lot less stressful then trying to handle and face what you are at the moment with your exh. Once you get the support and help you will be able to see even clearer your path and be able to handle it more and better too. I promise you that you can and will do this. Honest and truly.</p><p></p><p>You did great coming here and opening up and sharing with us. We are here and we will stay here for you. Keep coming back for that shot in the arm to get you through each moment you need any time.</p><p></p><p></p><p>(hugs)</p><p></p><p>Remember.........</p><p></p><p>YOU CAN DO THIS!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 564485, member: 455"] I have little to add to what the others have told you: Please seek out a domestic violence center for support and assistance, seek out cancer center for support and assistance as well (hospice or what ever services they can help you with or point you to - financial, etc), a therapist of psychiatrist (there are many that are free or sliding scale if you need that). DO NOT, NOT go back with him, remarry him or join your finances! As they've said. "warning danger Will Robinson!" More then enough red flags to me as well. He is emotionally and psychologically abusing you and those scars and damage last far longer then any phyiscal damage can do (not making less of that either, just a comparison). I want to come at this a little differently with a story from my life. In 1999 (?) my exh had cancer. We had been together 12 hellish years only I had told NO ONE! My family didn't really even know and we were pretty close at the time and they should have been able to tell. They just thought he was an a** and didn't like him, not what was going on. He was emotionally and psychologically abusing me and oldest difficult child and at times physically abusing us (though not a lot). I'm fortunate compared to many as far as that is concerned. He attempted to try and isolate us for the most part. I'm not going into more detail on this, just a brief synopsis. When he had the cancer I still felt strongly devoted to him and stood by him and fought for him against doctors who did nothing. I cared for him through it as well and afterwards. Though it was afterwards that had me hit my breaking point finally. My oldest difficult child had been begging me for 1 year to leave him but I couldn't do it. I had a newborn that I was caring for at the height of his cancer surgery and care plus going to work AND oldest difficult child was in major crisis. If that wasn't a lot, I don't know what is? I tell you this to let you know....you CAN do this!!! YOU CAN! I know it seems like a lot is on your plate right now but you are realizing the situation you are in and don't want to go back to it. What you need is the support to get you through it, the resources to assist you in doing so. YOU CAN DO THIS! I left with 3 young children after 13 years with all that was going on above and you can too! Everyone here has given you answers and directions to go for help. PLEASE use them. It takes no more effort to seek them out and a lot less stressful then trying to handle and face what you are at the moment with your exh. Once you get the support and help you will be able to see even clearer your path and be able to handle it more and better too. I promise you that you can and will do this. Honest and truly. You did great coming here and opening up and sharing with us. We are here and we will stay here for you. Keep coming back for that shot in the arm to get you through each moment you need any time. (hugs) Remember......... YOU CAN DO THIS!!! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Dilemma re ex-husband
Top