Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Disciplining after suicide attempt by daughter.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 704139" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am glad you are focused on healing now. The anger is a VERY normal response. I know that for many of us it is a reaction to the absolute, soul wrenching fear that having our child so threatened brings up. But until you acknowledge and deal with the anger, you cannot deal with anything else. You should be proud that you didn't get stuck in the anger phase, because it is easy to do. </p><p></p><p>The MMA stuff might be something she enjoys, or you might need to find something else if that isn't her thing. But finding something you can do together is an excellent idea. Right now she needs that time and attention, even if she pushes you away. My son used to refuse to do ANYTHING with us, even eat a meal, even respond to 'Good Morning', but it took him years to figure out that he mostly got into so much trouble because then he got long hours of chores with one of us working right next to him to make sure he actually WAS working. About a year ago he had some sort of revelation, one of those "what an idiot I was" moments, and said "Back when I was always in trouble, I needed to spend time one on one with you, dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and I know you would have done anything with me, but I didn't know how to admit that I needed that time TO MYSELF. I was SUCH an IDIOT! I could have GOTTEN PAID to do all that yardwork for Grandma that I did for free as a consequence for being a brat!" </p><p></p><p>I have to admit we did laugh about the way he said it, but it was truly a bittersweet moment. I am so glad he can admit these things. I am so glad that he can actually SEE them. I know that without his medications, he could NOT, and would still be trapped in the utter despair of his brain chemistry. </p><p></p><p>Make sure that you also take care of yourself, your wife and your other kids during this time. It is so so easy to let everyone else go by the wayside while you care for the very ill child, but everyone is important. If you don't have your basic needs, and your wife doesn't have hers, neither of you can care for anyone. And if the other kids are not cared for, and don't get their needs met, they could slide too. So it is a tricky balancing act, and this is why FAMILY therapy is an important part, as is therapy for just mom and just dad and just mom and dad. Cause if "Mom and Dad' fall apart, then the whole family does. </p><p></p><p>You have come so far. I have faith that you will come through this as a stronger family, with stronger, healthier children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 704139, member: 1233"] I am glad you are focused on healing now. The anger is a VERY normal response. I know that for many of us it is a reaction to the absolute, soul wrenching fear that having our child so threatened brings up. But until you acknowledge and deal with the anger, you cannot deal with anything else. You should be proud that you didn't get stuck in the anger phase, because it is easy to do. The MMA stuff might be something she enjoys, or you might need to find something else if that isn't her thing. But finding something you can do together is an excellent idea. Right now she needs that time and attention, even if she pushes you away. My son used to refuse to do ANYTHING with us, even eat a meal, even respond to 'Good Morning', but it took him years to figure out that he mostly got into so much trouble because then he got long hours of chores with one of us working right next to him to make sure he actually WAS working. About a year ago he had some sort of revelation, one of those "what an idiot I was" moments, and said "Back when I was always in trouble, I needed to spend time one on one with you, dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and I know you would have done anything with me, but I didn't know how to admit that I needed that time TO MYSELF. I was SUCH an IDIOT! I could have GOTTEN PAID to do all that yardwork for Grandma that I did for free as a consequence for being a brat!" I have to admit we did laugh about the way he said it, but it was truly a bittersweet moment. I am so glad he can admit these things. I am so glad that he can actually SEE them. I know that without his medications, he could NOT, and would still be trapped in the utter despair of his brain chemistry. Make sure that you also take care of yourself, your wife and your other kids during this time. It is so so easy to let everyone else go by the wayside while you care for the very ill child, but everyone is important. If you don't have your basic needs, and your wife doesn't have hers, neither of you can care for anyone. And if the other kids are not cared for, and don't get their needs met, they could slide too. So it is a tricky balancing act, and this is why FAMILY therapy is an important part, as is therapy for just mom and just dad and just mom and dad. Cause if "Mom and Dad' fall apart, then the whole family does. You have come so far. I have faith that you will come through this as a stronger family, with stronger, healthier children. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Disciplining after suicide attempt by daughter.
Top