Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Disciplining after suicide attempt by daughter.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="FindingMyPlace" data-source="post: 708487" data-attributes="member: 21502"><p>Reading this thread made me feel like I am not alone in this struggle! How unfortunate that tragedy brings people together.</p><p></p><p>A little background....my 11 yr old son attempted to hang himself last August. Luckily we found him within a few minutes and he came through the whole ordeal with no physical or major mental deficits. He is our 4th and last child. We didn't see it coming. He was a happy active adjusted boy who seemed to roll with whatever life threw at him. Then wham! He got in trouble for telling a lie and the result was a suicide attempt. </p><p></p><p>I was so angry, and still have some anger, about what he did. I was right there with you in thinking, how are we going to discipline him after this? How will we ever be "normal"? The psychologists shrug their shoulders and say he isn't depressed. His behavioral therapist can't figure him out either. Other than he is impulsive and has now tested very positive for ADHD, he doesn't fit into any diagnosis that would indicate depression or self harming behaviors. He can't remember anything from that day or why he did it. I feel like we are walking through the dark with a book of matches that sometimes is enough to get a glimpse of the path ahead.</p><p></p><p>We were traditional parents who believed in accountability and responsibility. Tough love if you will. We have tried hard to teach our kids right from wrong. Tried to instill in them the understanding that every action has a consequence. Tried to discipline fair but strict. We thought we were good parents doing the best we could and then we find out that we can no longer parent that way. </p><p></p><p>We are in therapy and have been from the moment this happened. We've had to change our approach to everything. We had to develop safety plans and new consequences for bad decisions. And mostly, we've not had a moment when we can let our guard down. I live with the thought every day that it may happen again. My son knows the power he has over us. He knows the fear we have. There have been a few major events since his return to home and school. They have all centered around his schoolwork and grades. Our therapist has given us suggestions that we have followed, such as restricting his freedom, not allowing tv or electronic games, and even give extra chores. I feel strongly however that I am a prisoner to him. That my role as a parent has flipped and now I'm just here to facilitate his moods; Always on alert for the slightest change in behavior that is out of place. Making him accountable requires long discussions about feelings and explanations as to why he can't behave that way. It requires me as a parent not to show disappointment, only to be impassive and remind him what the rules are. That's not my opinion of parenting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FindingMyPlace, post: 708487, member: 21502"] Reading this thread made me feel like I am not alone in this struggle! How unfortunate that tragedy brings people together. A little background....my 11 yr old son attempted to hang himself last August. Luckily we found him within a few minutes and he came through the whole ordeal with no physical or major mental deficits. He is our 4th and last child. We didn't see it coming. He was a happy active adjusted boy who seemed to roll with whatever life threw at him. Then wham! He got in trouble for telling a lie and the result was a suicide attempt. I was so angry, and still have some anger, about what he did. I was right there with you in thinking, how are we going to discipline him after this? How will we ever be "normal"? The psychologists shrug their shoulders and say he isn't depressed. His behavioral therapist can't figure him out either. Other than he is impulsive and has now tested very positive for ADHD, he doesn't fit into any diagnosis that would indicate depression or self harming behaviors. He can't remember anything from that day or why he did it. I feel like we are walking through the dark with a book of matches that sometimes is enough to get a glimpse of the path ahead. We were traditional parents who believed in accountability and responsibility. Tough love if you will. We have tried hard to teach our kids right from wrong. Tried to instill in them the understanding that every action has a consequence. Tried to discipline fair but strict. We thought we were good parents doing the best we could and then we find out that we can no longer parent that way. We are in therapy and have been from the moment this happened. We've had to change our approach to everything. We had to develop safety plans and new consequences for bad decisions. And mostly, we've not had a moment when we can let our guard down. I live with the thought every day that it may happen again. My son knows the power he has over us. He knows the fear we have. There have been a few major events since his return to home and school. They have all centered around his schoolwork and grades. Our therapist has given us suggestions that we have followed, such as restricting his freedom, not allowing tv or electronic games, and even give extra chores. I feel strongly however that I am a prisoner to him. That my role as a parent has flipped and now I'm just here to facilitate his moods; Always on alert for the slightest change in behavior that is out of place. Making him accountable requires long discussions about feelings and explanations as to why he can't behave that way. It requires me as a parent not to show disappointment, only to be impassive and remind him what the rules are. That's not my opinion of parenting. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Disciplining after suicide attempt by daughter.
Top