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Disowning adult children - when is enough enough ?? any thoughts ?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 578926" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>My difficult child is 34yo and I am just so tired of it. It feels as if I have been living this nightmare my entire life. He is in a relationship (going on 3 years) and as my daughter describes her, pure evil. Sadly, my son is a follower and she has done everything she can to isolate him from family and friends. No blame on her, it's his choice.</p><p></p><p>The last episode I was conned into giving him money, one of them (or both) hacked into my computer. I had to call the police to stop her harrassment.</p><p></p><p>He cuts himself, threatens suicide often, they fight and she is in detox after trying to kill him with a knife. I once again give him money for tickets to leave the state and start over.</p><p></p><p>They are now back together, he has lied about it, but I know it's true. He started asking for money again and this time I refuse and he gets angry and threatens suicide, or stealing to get money, and I will never hear from him and have a great 'perfect life'.</p><p></p><p>My son started out early too and his father's drug use and the step mother's verbal abuse added to the problems. I have had him in program after program and he was court ordered to rehab twice. I tried as I know you did too. I am convinced there is mental illness and one day he make committ suicide. But, I am passed the guilt trips he still trys to lay on me.</p><p></p><p>I just know I can't take it any more. He actually cut off contact after I ignored his FB postings and it has been so peaceful. It is hard to deal with the guilt when so many blame the parents, especially the mothers. And girlfriend telling me I never loved him and I was the reason he was so f***** up didn't help either. girlfriend told his sister (never met her) that his sister burned him with cigarettes often when he was little, and other abuses, and I did nothing. No one in our house smoked and someone would have noticed burn marks on a child. They are both very sick individuals in my opinion. He tells me now that I was harrassing girlfriend. They have twisted minds and live in a fantsy world. </p><p></p><p>I can not believe my only son that I love so much has turned out like this. But, it is his choice. I meditate everyday and turn him over to my HP. I focus on the many positives I have in my life. Many in my family think I am wrong so I just do not discuss it with them. No one can understand the heartbreak of having a child like this unless they have one too.</p><p></p><p>I applaud your strength! Do things that make you happy and enjoy your life. It is completely out of your control.</p><p></p><p>I also would like to add, years ago I worked with a woman that cut off contact with her son and I thought she was so mean. My son was small and I had not yet started the horrible journey. That memory came back to me later when people would judge me, they do not understand, just as I did not, so I do not hold it against them. I just refuse to discuss it with them.</p><p>(((huggs and blessings)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 578926, member: 13558"] My difficult child is 34yo and I am just so tired of it. It feels as if I have been living this nightmare my entire life. He is in a relationship (going on 3 years) and as my daughter describes her, pure evil. Sadly, my son is a follower and she has done everything she can to isolate him from family and friends. No blame on her, it's his choice. The last episode I was conned into giving him money, one of them (or both) hacked into my computer. I had to call the police to stop her harrassment. He cuts himself, threatens suicide often, they fight and she is in detox after trying to kill him with a knife. I once again give him money for tickets to leave the state and start over. They are now back together, he has lied about it, but I know it's true. He started asking for money again and this time I refuse and he gets angry and threatens suicide, or stealing to get money, and I will never hear from him and have a great 'perfect life'. My son started out early too and his father's drug use and the step mother's verbal abuse added to the problems. I have had him in program after program and he was court ordered to rehab twice. I tried as I know you did too. I am convinced there is mental illness and one day he make committ suicide. But, I am passed the guilt trips he still trys to lay on me. I just know I can't take it any more. He actually cut off contact after I ignored his FB postings and it has been so peaceful. It is hard to deal with the guilt when so many blame the parents, especially the mothers. And girlfriend telling me I never loved him and I was the reason he was so f***** up didn't help either. girlfriend told his sister (never met her) that his sister burned him with cigarettes often when he was little, and other abuses, and I did nothing. No one in our house smoked and someone would have noticed burn marks on a child. They are both very sick individuals in my opinion. He tells me now that I was harrassing girlfriend. They have twisted minds and live in a fantsy world. I can not believe my only son that I love so much has turned out like this. But, it is his choice. I meditate everyday and turn him over to my HP. I focus on the many positives I have in my life. Many in my family think I am wrong so I just do not discuss it with them. No one can understand the heartbreak of having a child like this unless they have one too. I applaud your strength! Do things that make you happy and enjoy your life. It is completely out of your control. I also would like to add, years ago I worked with a woman that cut off contact with her son and I thought she was so mean. My son was small and I had not yet started the horrible journey. That memory came back to me later when people would judge me, they do not understand, just as I did not, so I do not hold it against them. I just refuse to discuss it with them. (((huggs and blessings))) [/QUOTE]
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Disowning adult children - when is enough enough ?? any thoughts ?
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