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Parent Emeritus
Disowning adult children - when is enough enough ?? any thoughts ?
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 648279" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I got a lot of advice on this board about "going no contact", which I think is what you mean by disowning..most of the advice was...nothing is forever. Do what seems best for you right now.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I went for a few months with no contact. Right now I would say it is "very little contact", along the lines of a phone call every few weeks. </p><p></p><p>What feels right? well really it doesn't feel right to have a son I won't deal with...but...it feels better to have space from him than it does to have regular contact. I can't impact him. He does impact me. It is on me to be sure the impact is within my capacity to manage...that it isn't crippling to me. So I set those boundaries wherever they are...kind of like that slide thing on the computer that lets you manage the brightness...sometimes the place I've had it set at for weeks is suddenly too bright, and my eyes hurt. Then I slide it down again for a while.</p><p></p><p>You can do the same. Nothing is forever. Go ahead and make some space for yourself for as long as you need..days, weeks, months, years. Its OK. It is yours to choose.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 648279, member: 17269"] I got a lot of advice on this board about "going no contact", which I think is what you mean by disowning..most of the advice was...nothing is forever. Do what seems best for you right now. Sometimes I went for a few months with no contact. Right now I would say it is "very little contact", along the lines of a phone call every few weeks. What feels right? well really it doesn't feel right to have a son I won't deal with...but...it feels better to have space from him than it does to have regular contact. I can't impact him. He does impact me. It is on me to be sure the impact is within my capacity to manage...that it isn't crippling to me. So I set those boundaries wherever they are...kind of like that slide thing on the computer that lets you manage the brightness...sometimes the place I've had it set at for weeks is suddenly too bright, and my eyes hurt. Then I slide it down again for a while. You can do the same. Nothing is forever. Go ahead and make some space for yourself for as long as you need..days, weeks, months, years. Its OK. It is yours to choose. Echo [/QUOTE]
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Disowning adult children - when is enough enough ?? any thoughts ?
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