You are right InsaneCdn - I guess we cannot know everytime. However with our difficult child most times my husband and I will ask him what it is he is looking for as an outcome to some circular irrational argument and he 9 times out of 10 will, in a very Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) way, bluntly say "compliance". Seriously...
His circular arguments which turn into full blown tantrums and threats normally start out with him trying to prove the rule had no merit to begin with, therefore he should not be punished for not following it - like food in his room. When we do not agree than the tantrum/violence/threats begin. Easily predictable at this point.
When he was younger - under 12 half of the time I do not even think he knew why the tantrum was thrown half way into it.
