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General Parenting
Does anyone ever wonder if the professionals REALLY know what is wrong with our kids?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 530230" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>For me, an analogy would be when you have something difficult or painful, some dilemma, perhaps, that you want to share with a friend. There are people who will listen a while and then start chipping in with their views or advice, defining and analysing; with such people, one feels unheard, unrespected and stops wanting to share anything further with them. Then there are those (more rare) who will just listen without comment or judgement, and in the "spaciousness" of such open listening, answers start to reveal themselves. What is going on with a child with difficult behaviour is necessarily complex; jumping in to give one's own closed interpretation of that complexity with a label is, to me, unhelpful and sometimes simply perverse when it is repeated in contradiction to what the parent herself sees and knows. Tentative suggestions, offered with a sense of humility and the complete impossibility of diagnosing over the air waves, as it were - yes, why not? If the professionals are not to be relied on when they actually see, speak to and evaluate a child - well, I don't think people who cannot even see a child can be relied on more! That said, people on the forum have tremendously valuable experience and knowledge and we can all learn from each other. But, in the end, I agree with tiredmommy that we are the ultimate expert on our child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 530230, member: 11227"] For me, an analogy would be when you have something difficult or painful, some dilemma, perhaps, that you want to share with a friend. There are people who will listen a while and then start chipping in with their views or advice, defining and analysing; with such people, one feels unheard, unrespected and stops wanting to share anything further with them. Then there are those (more rare) who will just listen without comment or judgement, and in the "spaciousness" of such open listening, answers start to reveal themselves. What is going on with a child with difficult behaviour is necessarily complex; jumping in to give one's own closed interpretation of that complexity with a label is, to me, unhelpful and sometimes simply perverse when it is repeated in contradiction to what the parent herself sees and knows. Tentative suggestions, offered with a sense of humility and the complete impossibility of diagnosing over the air waves, as it were - yes, why not? If the professionals are not to be relied on when they actually see, speak to and evaluate a child - well, I don't think people who cannot even see a child can be relied on more! That said, people on the forum have tremendously valuable experience and knowledge and we can all learn from each other. But, in the end, I agree with tiredmommy that we are the ultimate expert on our child. [/QUOTE]
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Does anyone ever wonder if the professionals REALLY know what is wrong with our kids?
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